MFP accurately predicts Mueller testimony

Musha Hadeen Published July 23, 2019

For the record, MFP currently boasts an 89.1% accuracy rate (it’s actually higher, but won’t be updated until the quarterly accuracy audit).

Democrat strategery
What Democrats SHOULD do:

Use their 5-minute time limit to build a sequential case against Trump on obstruction (AM) and collusion (PM).

For example:

  • Mr. Mueller, did the Russian gov’t help Trump win in 2016? (YES)
  • Mr. Mueller, did Trump advisers lie to the FBI? (YES)
  • Mr. Mueller, did you NOT pursue obstruction of justice because of DOJ rules? (YES)
  • And so on and so forth.

What Democrats WILL do:

Every member will just do their own thing, hogging as much camera time as possible for their own self-aggrandizement.

Republican strategery
Republicans will employ the “when you get caught sexting another girl” strategery. That is, bring up all kinds of other shit and act really indignant about it in the hopes you can run out the clock.

For example:

  • bUt wHaT AbOuT ThE DoSsIeR???
  • bUt wHaT AbOuT PeTeR StRzOk???
  • BuT WhAt aBoUt tHe dEeP StAtE???
  • And so on and so forth.
Most Viral Moments
It is a virtual certainty that the following members will say some crazy ass shit:

Public opinion
How will Mueller’s testimony affect public opinion?

The answer is: It doesn’t fucking matter, because any changes in public opinion will be temporary and fleeting.

Tribalism combined with the internetz makes free societies ungovernable. Consequently, in the coming decades, you will see factions that come into power attempt to impose crackdowns on free speech.

Post-Testimony Reaction HERE

Green New Deal

MFP accurately reax to the Green New Deal

The Green New Deal presupposes that recent global temperature and weather patterns (~500 out of 4.5 billion years) are "correct" and should be frozen in place in perpetuity.

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Would Smash

If Vladimir Putin had sent her instead, she'd be the First Lady by now

What was the GRU thinking?? I feel like Maria Butina would have a hard time placing in a Dagestanian beauty pageant.

Read More
Green New Deal

MFP accurately reax to the Green New Deal

The Green New Deal presupposes that recent global temperature and weather patterns (~500 out of 4.5 billion years) are "correct" and should be frozen in place in perpetuity.

Read More
THIS IS AWKWARD

Asians and Jews do better than Blacks at the SAME “failing” schools

I know what you're thinking, but it's not that either.

Low-Information Voters

Tucker Carlson: Tea Party conservatives are “morons”

Each night, Tucker Carlson trolls liberal elites with his plucky yet affable demeanor. But this character was only written 3 years ago by the legendary Roger Ailes.

Mark Levin suddenly doesn't have a problem with the President
playing golf.

“He’s hooked on golf like drug addicts are hooked on drugs…he used to do pot, he used to do coke, now he does golf!”

Read More

Alex Jones reveals: Sandy Hook massacre was “completely fake with actors”

Alex Jones insists
he didn’t promote Pizzagate, but here’s his deleted video

Would Marry

The Most Beautiful Intelligent Woman on Planet Earth.

This is not to say that Emma Dumont is smarter than Kaileigh Brandt (their diverging interests makes that difficult to quantify with anything approaching certainty) or more carnally desirable than Mélissa Theuriau circa 2005.

Read More

Bwahahaha!
Rand Paul Totally Betrays Libertarians

Since Trump's erection, fmr. libertarian Rand Paul has shamelessly flip-flopped on issues including Executive Orders, Executive Powers, Immigration, and much more!

Read More
Would Marry

The Most Beautiful Intelligent Woman on Planet Earth.

This is not to say that Emma Dumont is smarter than Kaileigh Brandt (their diverging interests makes that difficult to quantify with anything approaching certainty) or more carnally desirable than Mélissa Theuriau circa 2005.

Read More
Emergency Fap Check

Wait, Is Sarah McDaniel Actually The Hottest Smart Chick On Earth??

Earlier this year, MFP declared Emma Dumont "the most beautiful smart woman on Earth". But reader Nate recently urged MFP to reconsider.

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Would Smash

BREAKING:
The 2 Cutest Girls at Purdue are Republican!

According to MFP's research, this is the 1st time this has ever happened!

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Bwahahahaha!

Watch: GOP strategerist Gianno Caldwell CRIES like a baby!!!

Tough guy sellout Gianno Caldwell cries when Trump finally goes after him!

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The Cuckening

Wow, Jordan Peterson got cucked!

Jordan Peterson is a dumb person’s idea of what a smart person is like. He’s made a fortune off making retards feel smart by parroting his pseudointellectual “common sense”.

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* Votes are irreversable and legally binding.
FYI
Actually, terrorism was so much worse in the 1980’s We live in a veritable Utopian paradise compared to the violence of the past.
Contrary to the ratings-driven cable news narrative-- which has a financial stake in frightening elderly, low-information voters-- there are fewer terrorist incidents today than any time since the advent of modern terrorism. Read more »
Links

Erection 2020

Here’s why Kamala Harris will NEVER be POTUS

Do you even UFC bro?

MMA personality Luke Thomas calls for Trump’s impeachment

Erection 2020

MFP accurately reax to Beto’s beard

Litigious Muslim Student, would ya hang out innocently as friends?

Would Smash

New evidence suggests women have NOT gotten significantly hotter over the past 50 years