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MFP accurately bro-splains BREXIT impasse

MFP & co. Published January 16, 2019

Full disclosure, during our fake news era, MFP supported Nigel Farage and Brexit in pro-Russian propaganda articles HERE, HERE, and HERE.


The European Union
The European Union is a nagging, middle-aged wife that’s always that’s always telling the UK what to do.

The United Kingdom
The UK is a husband having a mid-life crisis.

25 years ago, the UK was down on his luck. He was working paycheck to paycheck without much direction. But then he met the EU. She was exciting and worldly. They built a life together.

But over the years, the UK has grown tired of the EU’s constant nagging.

Refugees, immigrants, etc.
Refugees and immigrants are calories– and in recent years, the EU let in thousands and thousands of calories!

When the UK expressed concern, the EU was like:


Ratchet-faced Mistress

The UK’s trashy, ratchet-faced mistress is:

  • Nigel Farage
  • Boris Johnson
  • The GRU
  • Etc.

She has been urging the UK to leave the EU for years.

In 2016, the UK’s ratchet-faced mistress finally succeeded in convincing the UK to divorce the EU (BREXIT), and the two sides entered into divorce proceedings:

The UK wants

  • To keep all his money
  • Joint custody
  • Shared use of the vacation house

The EU wants

If the UK refuses to honor its alimony and child support commitments– as outlined in the prenup– the EU can take sole custody of the kids and stop the UK from using the vacation house.
Second thoughts?
From time to time, the UK gets nostalgic, and drunk texts the EU– signaling possible reconciliation.

But as bitter divorce proceedings drag on, it becomes clear that things can never go back to the way they were.

Current Impasse
The UK and the EU agreed to terms last November. But when the UK’s ratchet-faced mistress saw the deal, she went fucking ballistic.

Now the UK is paralyzed by indecision– pulled in 3 equally compelling directions:

  • BRAIN – Amicable divorce, honor commitments to the EU, and move on.
  • HEART – Get back together with the EU, have great makeup sex.
  • RATCHET-FACED MISTRESS – Hard BREXIT, no deal, call the EU’s bluff.

For the record, MFP currently boasts an 89.1% accuracy rate.

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