25 years ago, the UK was down on his luck. He was working paycheck to paycheck without much direction. But then he met the EU. She was exciting and worldly. They built a life together.
But over the years, the UK has grown tired of the EU’s constant nagging.
When the UK expressed concern, the EU was like:
THE VAST MAJORITY OF THOSE CALORIES ARE GOOD FOR ME!!!!! YOU ARE UNEDUCATED!!!!!!!!
The UK’s trashy, ratchet-faced mistress is:
- Nigel Farage
- Boris Johnson
- The GRU
She has been urging the UK to leave the EU for years.
The UK wants
- To keep all his money
- Joint custody
- Shared use of the vacation house
The EU wants
But as bitter divorce proceedings drag on, it becomes clear that things can never go back to the way they were.
Now the UK is paralyzed by indecision– pulled in 3 equally compelling directions:
- BRAIN – Amicable divorce, honor commitments to the EU, and move on.
- HEART – Get back together with the EU, have great makeup sex.
- RATCHET-FACED MISTRESS – Hard BREXIT, no deal, call the EU’s bluff.
For the record, MFP currently boasts an 89.1% accuracy rate.