Here's Why
Kamala can't win
Post-New Year's
2020 Power Rankings
Beto O'Rourke's
Path to the Nomination
Richard Ojeda's
Path to the Nomination
Post Mid-Terms
2020 Power Rankings

MFP accurately reax to Women’s March antisemitism

Musha Hadeen Published January 14, 2019

Full disclosure, as longtime readers can attest, I have a disturbing predilection for Jewish chicks— honestly, it’s out of control.

  • (1) Black racism/anti-Semitism doesn’t count

    There is no equivalency between black and white racism/anti-Semitism, as illustrated by this handy chart:

    Aggressor Target Joke or insult Effect on Target
    Tall person Short person “You’re too short!” Pain
    Short person Tall person “You’re too tall!” ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
    Skinny person Fat person “You’re fat as fuck!” Pain
    Fat person Skinny person “You’re too skinny!” ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
    Hot chick Ugly chick “You’re ugly as fuck!” Pain
    Ugly chick Hot chick “You’re such a slut!” ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    Similarly:

    Aggressor Target Joke or insult Effect on Target
    White Black “N***er!” Pain
    Black White “Cracker!” ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
    Jew Black “N***er!” Pain
    Black Jew “You kikes control the news and Hollywood and oppress so-and-so!” Privately, “LOL!”

    Publicly, “How dare you, sir!”

  • (2) Tamika Mallory can get it

    She’s no Jessica Parker Kennedy, but Tamika Mallory can get it.

  • (3) Is this racist??

    In order of racial preference, here’s who I’d want my daughter to marry:

    • Become a nun
    • Become a lesbian
    • Be born without a vagina
    • A small, humble, insanely hard-working Mexican immigrant gardener with no fetishes or internet access.
    • Fat Jewish guy
    • Fat White guy
    • Japanese guy
    • Black guy (Uncle Tom)
    • Asian
    • White guy with tattoos
    • Cool white guy with tattoos
    • Westernized Hispanic
    • Black guy
    • Black guy (athlete)
    • Black guy (Lenny Kravitz type (they’re the absolute worst))

FLASHBAX: Louis Farrakhan endorses Trump

This is happening

MFP’s 2018
Year End Awards

MFP accurately presents awards for 2018's greatest Uncle Tom, hottest porn star, and much, much more!

Read More

If Vladimir Putin had sent her instead, she'd be the First Lady by now

What was the GRU thinking?? I feel like Maria Butina would have a hard time placing in a Dagestanian beauty pageant.

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MFP accurately projects

Here’s Beto’s path to the Democrat nomination

Beta has 100% name ID and approaching universal favorability among the Democrat activists that will decide the Iowa caucuses.

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MFP accurately projects

Post-New Year's 2020 Power Rankings

Top presidential candidates typically don't make it official until the spring, but falling poll numbers have forced Team Warren to declare early.

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The Regime

Actually, government shutdowns aren't that bad

Just between you and me, a temporary government shutdown is a total non-event.

THIS IS AWKWARD

Asians and Jews do better than Blacks at the SAME “failing” schools

I know what you're thinking, but it's not that either.

Low-Information Voters

Tucker Carlson: Tea Party conservatives are “morons”

EEach night, Tucker Carlson trolls liberal elites with his plucky yet affable demeanor. But this character was only written 3 years ago by the legendary Roger Ailes.

Mark Levin suddenly doesn't have a problem with the President
playing golf.

“He’s hooked on golf like drug addicts are hooked on drugs…he used to do pot, he used to do coke, now he does golf!”

Read More

Alex Jones reveals:
Sandy Hook massacre was
“completely fake with actors”

“Sandy Hook is a synthetic, completely fake, with actors, in my view, manufactured...zero murders occurred in Newtown, you've got the green screens...there were actors, clearly.”

Alex Jones insists
he didn’t promote Pizzagate, but here’s his deleted video

In a February, Alex Jones denied ever promoting Pizzagate, blaming the media for spreading misinformation-- but here's his deleted video!

Would Marry

The Most Beautiful Intelligent Woman on Planet Earth.

This is not to say that Emma Dumont is smarter than Kaileigh Brandt (their diverging interests makes that difficult to quantify with anything approaching certainty) or more carnally desirable than Mélissa Theuriau circa 2005.

Read More

Bwahahaha!
Rand Paul Totally Betrays Libertarians

Since Trump's erection, fmr. libertarian Rand Paul has shamelessly flip-flopped on issues including Executive Orders, Executive Powers, Immigration, and much more!

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Would Marry

The Most Beautiful Intelligent Woman on Planet Earth.

This is not to say that Emma Dumont is smarter than Kaileigh Brandt (their diverging interests makes that difficult to quantify with anything approaching certainty) or more carnally desirable than Mélissa Theuriau circa 2005.

Read More
Emergency Fap Check

Wait, Is Sarah McDaniel Actually The Hottest Smart Chick On Earth??

Earlier this year, MFP declared Emma Dumont "the most beautiful smart woman on Earth". But reader Nate recently urged MFP to reconsider.

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BREAKING:
The 2 Cutest Girls at Purdue are Republican!

According to MFP's research, this is the 1st time this has ever happened!

Read More
The Cuckening

Wow, Jordan Peterson
got cucked hard!

Jordan Peterson is a dumb person’s idea of what a smart person is like. He’s made a fortune off making retards feel smart by parroting his pseudointellectual “common sense”.

Read More

The Regime

Wow, Democrat strategerist sweats profusely!

Laura Ingraham accurately impersonates Mark Zuckerberg

Would Smash

I would pretend to support abortion to have sex with these pro-Planned Parenthood activists

Would Smash

Fox News’ Anna Kooiman jumps up and down on a trampoline

Domestic Violence

MFP racist-ly reax to Kareem Hunt