Here's Why
Kamala can't win
Post-New Year's
2020 Power Rankings
Beto O'Rourke's
Path to the Nomination
Richard Ojeda's
Path to the Nomination
Post Mid-Terms
2020 Power Rankings

MFP’s 2018 Year End Awards

MFP & co. Published December 26, 2018
Greatest Uncle Tom
Up until November, Gianno Caldwell was a stone cold lock for the biggest Uncle Tom of 2018. But at the last minute, the Wall Street Journal’s Jason Riley swooped in and cemented his legacy as the greatest House N ever with this incredible moment:

I’m just like.

Biggest Nazi
In many ways, Jordan Peterson deserves this award. But I personally feel that a true Nazi is very intelligent, and Peterson is a really dumb guy.

As such, this prestigious award goes to the cunning Tucker Carlson.

Most Easily Bought Off
I hate ties.

But in this case, they both sold out to the regime so shamelessly that whatever difference exists is so infinitesimally small so as to be imperceptible and irrelevant.

Mark Levin on presidents playing golf

Rand Paul on Executive Orders

Hottest Reporter
Not a banner year for hot reporters.

I hate to say “by default”, because she is strikingly beautiful for a woman over 25– but by default, the award goes to Jackie Alemany…

Hottest Political Daughter
In a shocking upset, this year’s hottest political daughter isn’t Ivanka Trump or Poland’s Kinga Duda. It’s [name redacted for 1 year, but look at her ass].

Hottest Porn Star
The 4th hottest active porn star– not just for her looks, but willingness to endure all manner of degradation– is Dakota Skye.

I feel like her almost comical level of trashyness actually redounds to her hotness:

Hottest Biracial Chick
Here’s the thing.

Thus, on a genetic technicality, the award goes to plastic surgery-enhanced Uyghur actress Dilraba Dilmurat:

FYI Uyghur chicks are a mix of Chinese, Turks, and central Asian populations. It’s hot.

Most Carnally-Desirable Non-Celebrity on Earth
In large part due to her ability to credibly approximate an 18-year-old, it’s sex blogger Eileen Kelly.

Chick I Want to Spend the Rest of My Life With
This hasn’t changed in like 2 years.

Chelsea the Code Pink Protester shares many qualities with runner-up Delaney Tarr— smart, kind, and super hot– but Chelsea the Code Pink Protester is slightly more selfless and less self-absorbed than Delaney.

Also, as a sexist and misogynist, I feel like the archetypal ideal woman should– by her mere existence alone– make me want to be a better man.

Nothing in this world has made MFP more open to socialist viewpoints than her inherent goodness and un-jaded idealism.

For that reason, and also because she’s super hot, I want to spend the rest of my life with Chelsea the Code Pink Protester.

For the record, MFP finishes 2018 with an impressive 89.1% accuracy rating.

Green New Deal

MFP accurately reax to the Green New Deal

The Green New Deal presupposes that recent global temperature and weather patterns (~500 out of 4.5 billion years) are "correct" and should be frozen in place in perpetuity.

Read More
This is happening

MFP’s 2018
Year End Awards

MFP accurately presents awards for 2018's greatest Uncle Tom, hottest porn star, and much, much more!

Read More

If Vladimir Putin had sent her instead, she'd be the First Lady by now

What was the GRU thinking?? I feel like Maria Butina would have a hard time placing in a Dagestanian beauty pageant.

Read More
MFP accurately projects

Here’s Beto’s path to the Democrat nomination

Beta has 100% name ID and approaching universal favorability among the Democrat activists that will decide the Iowa caucuses.

Read More
MFP accurately projects

Post-New Year's 2020 Power Rankings

Top presidential candidates typically don't make it official until the spring, but falling poll numbers have forced Team Warren to declare early.

Read More

Asians and Jews do better than Blacks at the SAME “failing” schools

I know what you're thinking, but it's not that either.

Low-Information Voters

Tucker Carlson: Tea Party conservatives are “morons”

EEach night, Tucker Carlson trolls liberal elites with his plucky yet affable demeanor. But this character was only written 3 years ago by the legendary Roger Ailes.

Mark Levin suddenly doesn't have a problem with the President
playing golf.

“He’s hooked on golf like drug addicts are hooked on drugs…he used to do pot, he used to do coke, now he does golf!”

Read More

Alex Jones reveals:
Sandy Hook massacre was
“completely fake with actors”

“Sandy Hook is a synthetic, completely fake, with actors, in my view, murders occurred in Newtown, you've got the green screens...there were actors, clearly.”

Alex Jones insists
he didn’t promote Pizzagate, but here’s his deleted video

In a February, Alex Jones denied ever promoting Pizzagate, blaming the media for spreading misinformation-- but here's his deleted video!

Would Marry

The Most Beautiful Intelligent Woman on Planet Earth.

This is not to say that Emma Dumont is smarter than Kaileigh Brandt (their diverging interests makes that difficult to quantify with anything approaching certainty) or more carnally desirable than Mélissa Theuriau circa 2005.

Read More

Rand Paul Totally Betrays Libertarians

Since Trump's erection, fmr. libertarian Rand Paul has shamelessly flip-flopped on issues including Executive Orders, Executive Powers, Immigration, and much more!

Read More
Would Marry

The Most Beautiful Intelligent Woman on Planet Earth.

This is not to say that Emma Dumont is smarter than Kaileigh Brandt (their diverging interests makes that difficult to quantify with anything approaching certainty) or more carnally desirable than Mélissa Theuriau circa 2005.

Read More
Emergency Fap Check

Wait, Is Sarah McDaniel Actually The Hottest Smart Chick On Earth??

Earlier this year, MFP declared Emma Dumont "the most beautiful smart woman on Earth". But reader Nate recently urged MFP to reconsider.

Read More

The 2 Cutest Girls at Purdue are Republican!

According to MFP's research, this is the 1st time this has ever happened!

Read More
The Cuckening

Wow, Jordan Peterson
got cucked hard!

Jordan Peterson is a dumb person’s idea of what a smart person is like. He’s made a fortune off making retards feel smart by parroting his pseudointellectual “common sense”.

Read More

Would Smash

Hot staffer looks hot while Kellyanne Conway defends Rapin’ Kavanaugh

Fap Check

Alex Jones claims he didn’t promote #Pizzagate but here’s his deleted video

Chamber of Commerce: Rand Paul was our “secret weapon” in “beating” the Tea Party

The Blaze’s Amy Holmes’ 1980’s old detective guy glasses

Heartache: Obama brought in fewer refugees than Reagan or Bush