RIGGED! ANOTHER TRAGIC MISS AMERICA DECISION!!!!!

Mark Capra Published September 11, 2018

There is perhaps no greater sign of America’s existential descent than the declining hotness of recent Miss America winners:

Miss America ’13

Mallory Hagan looks like one of those fat lower middle class wives that act like raising kids is like a real job?? And they always seem genuinely shocked when they get cheated on??

Miss America ’14

Nina Davuluri…[redacted for racism/bigotry]…Mortal Kombat.

Miss America ’16

Looks like a witch.

Miss America ’17

Cara Mund…even her name sounds fat.

By far, the most egregious, unforgivable decision came in 2013– when the beautiful Alexis Wineman was robbed in favor of (no offense) disgusting pig Mallory Hagan.

Alexis Wineman

Embodies everything the world loves about white girls…

Mallory Hagan

Not so much…

If that was the Pearl Harbor of Miss Americas (which it was, objectively)– then this past weekend’s contest was September 11…

Miss America 2019

The clear frontrunner– inarguably, the hottest chick at the competition by several orders of magnitude– Emily Sioma was robbed of her title, which was wrongly awarded to Nia Franklin…

Emily

If there was ever any doubt about her hotness, those concerns are quickly dispelled by this gif…

Nia

In contrast, Nia Franklin would have trouble even making it into a rap video as a “hoe” without neon eyeliner and a weave…

Sad.

Green New Deal

MFP accurately reax to the Green New Deal

The Green New Deal presupposes that recent global temperature and weather patterns (~500 out of 4.5 billion years) are "correct" and should be frozen in place in perpetuity.

Read More
Would Smash

If Vladimir Putin had sent her instead, she'd be the First Lady by now

What was the GRU thinking?? I feel like Maria Butina would have a hard time placing in a Dagestanian beauty pageant.

Read More
Green New Deal

MFP accurately reax to the Green New Deal

The Green New Deal presupposes that recent global temperature and weather patterns (~500 out of 4.5 billion years) are "correct" and should be frozen in place in perpetuity.

Read More
THIS IS AWKWARD

Asians and Jews do better than Blacks at the SAME “failing” schools

I know what you're thinking, but it's not that either.

Low-Information Voters

Tucker Carlson: Tea Party conservatives are “morons”

Each night, Tucker Carlson trolls liberal elites with his plucky yet affable demeanor. But this character was only written 3 years ago by the legendary Roger Ailes.

Mark Levin suddenly doesn't have a problem with the President
playing golf.

“He’s hooked on golf like drug addicts are hooked on drugs…he used to do pot, he used to do coke, now he does golf!”

Read More

Alex Jones reveals: Sandy Hook massacre was “completely fake with actors”

Alex Jones insists
he didn’t promote Pizzagate, but here’s his deleted video

Would Marry

The Most Beautiful Intelligent Woman on Planet Earth.

This is not to say that Emma Dumont is smarter than Kaileigh Brandt (their diverging interests makes that difficult to quantify with anything approaching certainty) or more carnally desirable than Mélissa Theuriau circa 2005.

Read More

Bwahahaha!
Rand Paul Totally Betrays Libertarians

Since Trump's erection, fmr. libertarian Rand Paul has shamelessly flip-flopped on issues including Executive Orders, Executive Powers, Immigration, and much more!

Read More
Would Marry

The Most Beautiful Intelligent Woman on Planet Earth.

This is not to say that Emma Dumont is smarter than Kaileigh Brandt (their diverging interests makes that difficult to quantify with anything approaching certainty) or more carnally desirable than Mélissa Theuriau circa 2005.

Read More
Emergency Fap Check

Wait, Is Sarah McDaniel Actually The Hottest Smart Chick On Earth??

Earlier this year, MFP declared Emma Dumont "the most beautiful smart woman on Earth". But reader Nate recently urged MFP to reconsider.

Read More
Would Smash

BREAKING:
The 2 Cutest Girls at Purdue are Republican!

According to MFP's research, this is the 1st time this has ever happened!

Read More
Bwahahahaha!

Watch: GOP strategerist Gianno Caldwell CRIES like a baby!!!

Tough guy sellout Gianno Caldwell cries when Trump finally goes after him!

Read More
The Cuckening

Wow, Jordan Peterson got cucked!

Jordan Peterson is a dumb person’s idea of what a smart person is like. He’s made a fortune off making retards feel smart by parroting his pseudointellectual “common sense”.

Read More
* Votes are irreversable and legally binding.
FYI
Actually, terrorism was so much worse in the 1980’s We live in a veritable Utopian paradise compared to the violence of the past.
Contrary to the ratings-driven cable news narrative-- which has a financial stake in frightening elderly, low-information voters-- there are fewer terrorist incidents today than any time since the advent of modern terrorism. Read more »
Links

Would Smash

MFP bids farewell to Natalia Poklonskaya’s prime

El Chorro joins the Tinder: Part II

Would Smash

BREAKING: Asian guy turns down white chick

Chael Sonnen: The Constitution was “written by knuckleheads w/ 8th grade educations”

Would Smash

Feminazi Caroline Heldman is such a MILF