Wow, Devin Nunes’ opponent has a beautiful wife!

Mfp   Published May 27, 2018

KGB asset Devin Nunes is running for reerection in CA-22, where he should cruise to victory over underfunded Fresno prosecutor Andrew Janz.

To Janz’ credit, he has chipped away at Nunes’ racist base by racking up prosecutorial victories over poor (mostly minority) defendants that lack the means to defend themselves, and standing idly by as Fresno’s militarized police force murder hundreds of innocent civilians.

Smart!

Despite not being attractive or particularly wealthy, Janz somehow managed to marry a kind, intelligent– and, most importantly– very beautiful woman (for her age).

This is gonna sound crazy?? But I feel like I could be in a monogamous relationship with her.

If you compare Heather to other adult women in Fresno?? They don’t even look like the same species…

So whether or not Janz can pull off the upset, which seems increasingly unlikely given:

  • (1) The sheer avalanche of untraceable Eurasian oligarch shadow funds pouring into the race on Nunes’ behalf, and
  • (2) The advanced microtargeting and structural GOTV support from the FSB

No matter what happens, Andrew has already won life.

Kudos.

If Vladimir Putin had sent her instead, she'd be the First Lady by now

What was the GRU thinking?? I feel like Maria Butina would have a hard time placing in a Dagestanian beauty pageant.

Read More
MFP accurately projects

Post-Midterms 2020 Power Rankings

The very millisecond Beta enters the race, he occupies the Young Charismatic Lane, and instantly ends the campaigns of Cory Booker, Eric Garcetti, and Eric Swalwell.

Read More

Actually, Trump can unilaterally fire Mueller

Many nerds mistakenly believe the Administrative Procedure Act of 1946 prevents Trump from firing Special Counsel Robert Mueller. Here's why they're wrong.

Read More
Low-Information Voters

Tucker Carlson: Tea Party conservatives are “morons”

Each night, Tucker Carlson trolls coastal liberal elites with his plucky yet affable tribalism. But this character was only written 3 years ago by legedary TV executive Roger Ailes.

Mark Levin suddenly doesn't have a problem with the President
playing golf.

“He’s hooked on golf like drug addicts are hooked on drugs…he used to do pot, he used to do coke, now he does golf!”

Read More

Alex Jones reveals:
Sandy Hook massacre was
“completely fake with actors”

“Sandy Hook is a synthetic, completely fake, with actors, in my view, manufactured...zero murders occurred in Newtown, you've got the green screens...there were actors, clearly.”

Alex Jones insists
he didn’t promote Pizzagate, but here’s his deleted video

In a February, Alex Jones denied ever promoting Pizzagate, blaming the media for spreading misinformation-- but here's his deleted video!

Would Marry

The Most Beautiful Intelligent Woman on Planet Earth.

This is not to say that Emma Dumont is smarter than Kaileigh Brandt (their diverging interests makes that difficult to quantify with anything approaching certainty) or more carnally desirable than Mélissa Theuriau circa 2005.

Read More

Bwahahaha!
Rand Paul Totally Betrays Libertarians

Since Trump's erection, fmr. libertarian Rand Paul has shamelessly flip-flopped on issues including Executive Orders, Executive Powers, Immigration, and much more!

Read More
Would Marry

The Most Beautiful Intelligent Woman on Planet Earth.

This is not to say that Emma Dumont is smarter than Kaileigh Brandt (their diverging interests makes that difficult to quantify with anything approaching certainty) or more carnally desirable than Mélissa Theuriau circa 2005.

Read More
Emergency Fap Check

Wait, Is Sarah McDaniel Actually The Hottest Smart Chick On Earth??

Earlier this year, MFP declared Emma Dumont "the most beautiful smart woman on Earth". But reader Nate recently urged MFP to reconsider.

Read More

BREAKING:
The 2 Cutest Girls at Purdue are Republican!

According to MFP's research, this is the 1st time this has ever happened!

Read More
The Cuckening

Wow, Jordan Peterson
got cucked hard!

Jordan Peterson is a dumb person’s idea of what a smart person is like. He’s made a fortune off making retards feel smart by parroting his pseudointellectual “common sense”.

Read More

Sean Hannity endorses gay marriage

Would Smash

Wow, Katy Tur does a sexy white girl dance!

Would Smash

MFP controversially but accurately rates Jackie Alemany

Bwahahaha: Bomani Jones wears “Caucasians” t-shirt even though nobody cares

Rush Limbaugh accurately claims: When women say “no”, sometimes they mean “yes”

The Regime

That Bisexual Social Worker chick is going to be Arizona Senator