MFP accurately rates Kim Jong Un’s “Sunshine” dinner menu

Mark Capra   Published April 27, 2018

This is the “Sunshine” menu served at Friday’s historic inter-Korean summit (I’m calling bullshit on the lack of rice), ranked against my ~daily diet of McDonalds.

Dumplings

Dumplings with croaker fish and sea cucumber.

Fries

Delicious fries.

I am of the belief that McDonald’s fries are the best fries, but I just have to know if those dumplings are as light as they look.

Winner: Korea

Soup

Shitty bowl of soup.

Big Mac

Delicious Big Mac.

Though I about fucking had it with the ever-shrinking Big Mac patty, I fucking hate soup. And this soup especially looks like a piece of shit.

Winner: McDonalds

Charcoal Grilled Beef

So, steak basically– with some potatoes and shit.

2X 1/4 lb. w/ Cheese

Delicious Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese.

The artistic plating of the grilled steak gives it the edge for me.

Winner: Korea

Fish

Grilled John Dory.

Filet-o-Fish

It’s like something you’d expect to find in a North Korean prison camp.

That Filet-o-Fish looks like someone jizzed on a piece o crap– so I’ll go with the John Dory, thanks.

Winner: Korea

Octopus Salad

Cold salad with octopus.

Chicken Salad

MCD’s Premium Southwest Chicken Salad is not only delicious and filling– it’s less than 500 calories!

Ultimately, I have to know what an octopus salad tastes like– probably like chicken, but still.

Winner: Korea

If Vladimir Putin had sent her instead, she'd be the First Lady by now

What was the GRU thinking?? I feel like Maria Butina would have a hard time placing in a Dagestanian beauty pageant.

Read More
MFP accurately projects

Post-Midterms 2020 Power Rankings

Beta has 100% name ID and approaching universal favorability among the Democrat activists that will decide the Iowa caucuses.

Read More

Actually, Trump can unilaterally fire Mueller

Many nerds mistakenly believe the Administrative Procedure Act of 1946 prevents Trump from firing Special Counsel Robert Mueller. Here's why they're wrong.

Read More
Low-Information Voters

Tucker Carlson: Tea Party conservatives are “morons”

Each night, Tucker Carlson trolls coastal liberal elites with his plucky yet affable tribalism. But this character was only written 3 years ago by legedary TV executive Roger Ailes.

Mark Levin suddenly doesn't have a problem with the President
playing golf.

“He’s hooked on golf like drug addicts are hooked on drugs…he used to do pot, he used to do coke, now he does golf!”

Read More

Alex Jones reveals:
Sandy Hook massacre was
“completely fake with actors”

“Sandy Hook is a synthetic, completely fake, with actors, in my view, manufactured...zero murders occurred in Newtown, you've got the green screens...there were actors, clearly.”

Alex Jones insists
he didn’t promote Pizzagate, but here’s his deleted video

In a February, Alex Jones denied ever promoting Pizzagate, blaming the media for spreading misinformation-- but here's his deleted video!

Would Marry

The Most Beautiful Intelligent Woman on Planet Earth.

This is not to say that Emma Dumont is smarter than Kaileigh Brandt (their diverging interests makes that difficult to quantify with anything approaching certainty) or more carnally desirable than Mélissa Theuriau circa 2005.

Read More

Bwahahaha!
Rand Paul Totally Betrays Libertarians

Since Trump's erection, fmr. libertarian Rand Paul has shamelessly flip-flopped on issues including Executive Orders, Executive Powers, Immigration, and much more!

Read More
Would Marry

The Most Beautiful Intelligent Woman on Planet Earth.

This is not to say that Emma Dumont is smarter than Kaileigh Brandt (their diverging interests makes that difficult to quantify with anything approaching certainty) or more carnally desirable than Mélissa Theuriau circa 2005.

Read More
Emergency Fap Check

Wait, Is Sarah McDaniel Actually The Hottest Smart Chick On Earth??

Earlier this year, MFP declared Emma Dumont "the most beautiful smart woman on Earth". But reader Nate recently urged MFP to reconsider.

Read More

BREAKING:
The 2 Cutest Girls at Purdue are Republican!

According to MFP's research, this is the 1st time this has ever happened!

Read More
The Cuckening

Wow, Jordan Peterson
got cucked hard!

Jordan Peterson is a dumb person’s idea of what a smart person is like. He’s made a fortune off making retards feel smart by parroting his pseudointellectual “common sense”.

Read More

Jason Whitlock inaccurately thinks Tamron Hall is “the most beautiful woman”

Rush Limbaugh accurately claims: When women say “no”, sometimes they mean “yes”

The Regime

MFP accurately reax to Trump Jr. colluding w/ Russia

Would Smash

Julia Ioffe pronounces “Sergey Kislyak” with sexy accent

Would Smash

Thicc Independent Trump voter is a MILF

Michael Savage accurately compares Ted Cruz to an Islamic extremist