MFP reax to Beto's beard Post-New Year's
2020 Power Rankings
Beto O'Rourke's
Path to the Nomination
Richard Ojeda's
Path to the Nomination
Post Mid-Terms
2020 Power Rankings

MFP accurately grades Trump attacking Syria

Musha Hadeen Published April 13, 2018

Totally called it, btw.

The Trump regime on Friday bombed Syria to distract low-information voters from increasingly unfavorable domestic news. The political ramifications of these strikes are assessed below from the perspective of the relevant tribal factions.

Israel Firsters

For Mossad assets (Ben Shapiro, Mark Levin, etc.), this move was an absolute A+, no-doubt-about-it, grand slam homerun masterclass.

Grade A+++

GRU assets

The Kremlin’s western propaganda assets (Alex Jones, Glenn Greenwald, Justin Raimondo, etc.) will temporarily feign outrage– but they understand this was necessary to distract from the Russia probe. And since the Trump regime used backchannel communications to ensure high-level Russian targets were clear of danger– no harm, no foul.

Expect Jones, Greenwald, and Raimondo to hop back on the Trump train within ~2 weeks– just long enough to maintain their credibility among low-information libertarians.

Grade B+

Fake Libertarians

Fake libertarians (Rand Paul, etc.) will feign outrage, but as long as Trump keeps being super racist– they can trick low-information libertarians into blaming Seth Rich’s Real Murderer, George Soros, and Deep State Pizza.

Grade C+

Low-Information Republicans

Low-information Republicans (people who read Daily Caller or The Blaze, etc.) would be the 1st to scream “Muh Declaration of War” if a Democrat were POTUS. But since the freedom strikes were ordered by a Republican, they’re cool with it.

Grade B

Neocons & Defense Contractors

Neocons (Fox News, the Cheneys, etc.) are reveling in the possibility that Trump’s freedom strikes further entangle the US in the Middle East, or even expand into a regional or world war. The only downside from their POV is the lack of tens of thousands of ground troops.

Grade A-

Independents & Unaffiliated

True independents are sooo burnt out by the last 2 years?? At this point, they don’t really give a shit either way.

Grade C


Overall, genius.

Trump’s freedom strikes simultaneously:

  • (1) Bump this weekend’s James Comey press tour
  • (2) Provide cover for Rod Rosenstein’s ouster
  • (3) Paper over the first inklings of economic recession

In the coming months, expect Stephen Miller to work closely w/ John Bolton to plant more “Muslim” false flags and launch overseas military strikes leading up to the 2018 erection.

This is happening

MFP’s 2018
Year End Awards

MFP accurately presents awards for 2018's greatest Uncle Tom, hottest porn star, and much, much more!

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If Vladimir Putin had sent her instead, she'd be the First Lady by now

What was the GRU thinking?? I feel like Maria Butina would have a hard time placing in a Dagestanian beauty pageant.

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MFP accurately projects

Here’s Beto’s path to the Democrat nomination

Beta has 100% name ID and approaching universal favorability among the Democrat activists that will decide the Iowa caucuses.

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MFP accurately projects

Post-New Year's 2020 Power Rankings

Top presidential candidates typically don't make it official until the spring, but falling poll numbers have forced Team Warren to declare early.

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The Regime

Actually, government shutdowns aren't that bad

Just between you and me, a temporary government shutdown is a total non-event.


Asians and Jews do better than Blacks at the SAME “failing” schools

I know what you're thinking, but it's not that either.

Low-Information Voters

Tucker Carlson: Tea Party conservatives are “morons”

EEach night, Tucker Carlson trolls liberal elites with his plucky yet affable demeanor. But this character was only written 3 years ago by the legendary Roger Ailes.

Mark Levin suddenly doesn't have a problem with the President
playing golf.

“He’s hooked on golf like drug addicts are hooked on drugs…he used to do pot, he used to do coke, now he does golf!”

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Alex Jones reveals:
Sandy Hook massacre was
“completely fake with actors”

“Sandy Hook is a synthetic, completely fake, with actors, in my view, murders occurred in Newtown, you've got the green screens...there were actors, clearly.”

Alex Jones insists
he didn’t promote Pizzagate, but here’s his deleted video

In a February, Alex Jones denied ever promoting Pizzagate, blaming the media for spreading misinformation-- but here's his deleted video!

Would Marry

The Most Beautiful Intelligent Woman on Planet Earth.

This is not to say that Emma Dumont is smarter than Kaileigh Brandt (their diverging interests makes that difficult to quantify with anything approaching certainty) or more carnally desirable than Mélissa Theuriau circa 2005.

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Rand Paul Totally Betrays Libertarians

Since Trump's erection, fmr. libertarian Rand Paul has shamelessly flip-flopped on issues including Executive Orders, Executive Powers, Immigration, and much more!

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Would Marry

The Most Beautiful Intelligent Woman on Planet Earth.

This is not to say that Emma Dumont is smarter than Kaileigh Brandt (their diverging interests makes that difficult to quantify with anything approaching certainty) or more carnally desirable than Mélissa Theuriau circa 2005.

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Emergency Fap Check

Wait, Is Sarah McDaniel Actually The Hottest Smart Chick On Earth??

Earlier this year, MFP declared Emma Dumont "the most beautiful smart woman on Earth". But reader Nate recently urged MFP to reconsider.

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The 2 Cutest Girls at Purdue are Republican!

According to MFP's research, this is the 1st time this has ever happened!

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The Cuckening

Wow, Jordan Peterson
got cucked hard!

Jordan Peterson is a dumb person’s idea of what a smart person is like. He’s made a fortune off making retards feel smart by parroting his pseudointellectual “common sense”.

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Would Smash

Alexa Bliss is even hotter than Photoshopped Alexa Bliss

Alex Jones accurately claims lesbians are part of CIA op

Michael Savage vs. Paleo Diet bro guy

Would Smash

Yenta that flipped off the Trump supporter, would ya?

Julie Mason is the ugliest woman ever allowed on Fox News