MFP reax to Beto's beard Post-New Year's
2020 Power Rankings
Beto O'Rourke's
Path to the Nomination
Richard Ojeda's
Path to the Nomination
Post Mid-Terms
2020 Power Rankings

MFP accurately reax to FBI raiding Michael Cohen’s office

Musha Hadeen Published April 8, 2018

Federal agents on Monday raided Michael Cohen’s home, office, and hotel based on a referral from the Special Counsel.

  • The suspected crimes did not specifically relate to the Russia probe, so it was pawned off to the U.S. attorney for the Southern District of New York.
  • Said US Attorney is a Trump supporter that donated $5,000 to the regime.
  • The sensitive nature of the documents seized suggests Cohen was under surveillance for some time, and a judge or magistrate was convinced Cohen could destroy evidence.

But that is neither here nor there.

You may recall that Michael Cohen patriotically linked to hot pics of his daughter Samantha…

A grateful nation thanks you…

A post shared by SamanthaBlakeCohen (@samichka_) on

A post shared by SamanthaBlakeCohen (@samichka_) on

Longtime readers are well-aware of my preference to finish on the face and hair area as one final act of dominance to overcompensate for my womanly qualities.

However, I acknowledge that it would take no small measure of willpower to extricate oneself from that thigh gap…

A post shared by SamanthaBlakeCohen (@samichka_) on

Бы.

This is happening

MFP’s 2018
Year End Awards

MFP accurately presents awards for 2018's greatest Uncle Tom, hottest porn star, and much, much more!

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If Vladimir Putin had sent her instead, she'd be the First Lady by now

What was the GRU thinking?? I feel like Maria Butina would have a hard time placing in a Dagestanian beauty pageant.

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MFP accurately projects

Here’s Beto’s path to the Democrat nomination

Beta has 100% name ID and approaching universal favorability among the Democrat activists that will decide the Iowa caucuses.

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MFP accurately projects

Post-New Year's 2020 Power Rankings

Top presidential candidates typically don't make it official until the spring, but falling poll numbers have forced Team Warren to declare early.

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The Regime

Actually, government shutdowns aren't that bad

Just between you and me, a temporary government shutdown is a total non-event.

THIS IS AWKWARD

Asians and Jews do better than Blacks at the SAME “failing” schools

I know what you're thinking, but it's not that either.

Low-Information Voters

Tucker Carlson: Tea Party conservatives are “morons”

EEach night, Tucker Carlson trolls liberal elites with his plucky yet affable demeanor. But this character was only written 3 years ago by the legendary Roger Ailes.

Mark Levin suddenly doesn't have a problem with the President
playing golf.

“He’s hooked on golf like drug addicts are hooked on drugs…he used to do pot, he used to do coke, now he does golf!”

Read More

Alex Jones reveals:
Sandy Hook massacre was
“completely fake with actors”

“Sandy Hook is a synthetic, completely fake, with actors, in my view, manufactured...zero murders occurred in Newtown, you've got the green screens...there were actors, clearly.”

Alex Jones insists
he didn’t promote Pizzagate, but here’s his deleted video

In a February, Alex Jones denied ever promoting Pizzagate, blaming the media for spreading misinformation-- but here's his deleted video!

Would Marry

The Most Beautiful Intelligent Woman on Planet Earth.

This is not to say that Emma Dumont is smarter than Kaileigh Brandt (their diverging interests makes that difficult to quantify with anything approaching certainty) or more carnally desirable than Mélissa Theuriau circa 2005.

Read More

Bwahahaha!
Rand Paul Totally Betrays Libertarians

Since Trump's erection, fmr. libertarian Rand Paul has shamelessly flip-flopped on issues including Executive Orders, Executive Powers, Immigration, and much more!

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Would Marry

The Most Beautiful Intelligent Woman on Planet Earth.

This is not to say that Emma Dumont is smarter than Kaileigh Brandt (their diverging interests makes that difficult to quantify with anything approaching certainty) or more carnally desirable than Mélissa Theuriau circa 2005.

Read More
Emergency Fap Check

Wait, Is Sarah McDaniel Actually The Hottest Smart Chick On Earth??

Earlier this year, MFP declared Emma Dumont "the most beautiful smart woman on Earth". But reader Nate recently urged MFP to reconsider.

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BREAKING:
The 2 Cutest Girls at Purdue are Republican!

According to MFP's research, this is the 1st time this has ever happened!

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The Cuckening

Wow, Jordan Peterson
got cucked hard!

Jordan Peterson is a dumb person’s idea of what a smart person is like. He’s made a fortune off making retards feel smart by parroting his pseudointellectual “common sense”.

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The Regime

Alex Jones to Trump: If you betray us, I will come after you

Would Smash

Here’s what the 1st Chick President will look like

Madison Bumgarner is a morally superior human being

The Regime

Adam Carolla LOLs about hypocritically defending Trump

The Top 5 Meanest Things Alex Jones Said To Michelle Malkin