Here's Why
Kamala can't win
Post-New Year's
2020 Power Rankings
Beto O'Rourke's
Path to the Nomination
Richard Ojeda's
Path to the Nomination
Post Mid-Terms
2020 Power Rankings

The Sopranos predicted 2018 politics

MFP & co. Published February 21, 2018

The Sopranos in 2002 predicted the mind-numbing tribal politics of 2016-present to a T.

From a socioanthropological standpoint, the marginalization of minorities is historically necessary for social cohesion. It occurs in all groups of 2 or more humans– from ancient tribes to high school cliques to large nations.

In most stable modern civilizations, marginalized groups (Italians, Irish, Catholics, etc.) gradually work their way into the inner circle over the course of several generations. Eventually, the once-marginalized join the majority in persecuting new minority groups in a continuous cycle.

The characteristics of the persecuted (religion, skin color, left-handed, right-handed, etc.) are unimportant. What is important is their sociological function— that is, providing the broader population with a threat to unite against, thus maintaining social stability.

Hypothetical

If all Nazis and centrists disappeared Liberals would soon turn their ire towards Hillary, Joe Manchin, Kirsten Gillibrand, etc.
If all liberals and centrists disappeared Nazis would soon turn their ire towards Michelle Malkin, Ben Shapiro, Mark Levin, etc.

Here’s the problem.

The internetz (with the imprimatur of legislation such as the Civil Rights Act) has allowed socially excluded groups to agitate for immediate equality, which has led to societal turmoil and unrest.

The flaw in this theory are the continued persecution of African-Americans, but that is neither here nor there.

Meadow

Incidentally, many people mistakenly believe that Meadow Soprano got hot in Season 6??

Wrong.

In point of fact, Meadow actually got hot in Season [redacted], and legally hot in Season 4…

I would lick her chest acne…

Green New Deal

MFP accurately reax to the Green New Deal

The Green New Deal presupposes that recent global temperature and weather patterns (~500 out of 4.5 billion years) are "correct" and should be frozen in place in perpetuity.

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This is happening

MFP’s 2018
Year End Awards

MFP accurately presents awards for 2018's greatest Uncle Tom, hottest porn star, and much, much more!

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If Vladimir Putin had sent her instead, she'd be the First Lady by now

What was the GRU thinking?? I feel like Maria Butina would have a hard time placing in a Dagestanian beauty pageant.

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MFP accurately projects

Here’s Beto’s path to the Democrat nomination

Beta has 100% name ID and approaching universal favorability among the Democrat activists that will decide the Iowa caucuses.

Read More
Green New Deal

MFP accurately reax to the Green New Deal

The Green New Deal presupposes that recent global temperature and weather patterns (~500 out of 4.5 billion years) are "correct" and should be frozen in place in perpetuity.

Read More
Erection 2020

Post-Mueller
2020 Power Rankings

Mayor Pete's candidacy is fascinating because it perfectly illustrates the changing tastes of Americans.

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THIS IS AWKWARD

Asians and Jews do better than Blacks at the SAME “failing” schools

I know what you're thinking, but it's not that either.

Low-Information Voters

Tucker Carlson: Tea Party conservatives are “morons”

EEach night, Tucker Carlson trolls liberal elites with his plucky yet affable demeanor. But this character was only written 3 years ago by the legendary Roger Ailes.

Mark Levin suddenly doesn't have a problem with the President
playing golf.

“He’s hooked on golf like drug addicts are hooked on drugs…he used to do pot, he used to do coke, now he does golf!”

Read More

Alex Jones reveals:
Sandy Hook massacre was
“completely fake with actors”

“Sandy Hook is a synthetic, completely fake, with actors, in my view, manufactured...zero murders occurred in Newtown, you've got the green screens...there were actors, clearly.”

Alex Jones insists
he didn’t promote Pizzagate, but here’s his deleted video

In a February, Alex Jones denied ever promoting Pizzagate, blaming the media for spreading misinformation-- but here's his deleted video!

Would Marry

The Most Beautiful Intelligent Woman on Planet Earth.

This is not to say that Emma Dumont is smarter than Kaileigh Brandt (their diverging interests makes that difficult to quantify with anything approaching certainty) or more carnally desirable than Mélissa Theuriau circa 2005.

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Bwahahaha!
Rand Paul Totally Betrays Libertarians

Since Trump's erection, fmr. libertarian Rand Paul has shamelessly flip-flopped on issues including Executive Orders, Executive Powers, Immigration, and much more!

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Would Marry

The Most Beautiful Intelligent Woman on Planet Earth.

This is not to say that Emma Dumont is smarter than Kaileigh Brandt (their diverging interests makes that difficult to quantify with anything approaching certainty) or more carnally desirable than Mélissa Theuriau circa 2005.

Read More
Emergency Fap Check

Wait, Is Sarah McDaniel Actually The Hottest Smart Chick On Earth??

Earlier this year, MFP declared Emma Dumont "the most beautiful smart woman on Earth". But reader Nate recently urged MFP to reconsider.

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BREAKING:
The 2 Cutest Girls at Purdue are Republican!

According to MFP's research, this is the 1st time this has ever happened!

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The Cuckening

Wow, Jordan Peterson
got cucked hard!

Jordan Peterson is a dumb person’s idea of what a smart person is like. He’s made a fortune off making retards feel smart by parroting his pseudointellectual “common sense”.

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Would Smash

MFP accurately rates Jesse Watters’ mistress

Alex Jones accurately claims George Washington was assassinated by the Illuminati

Janet Yellen has facial hair, looks like convicted murderer Suzanne Basso

Trump accurately claims he coined the expression: “Think big”

The Regime

Rush Limbaugh celebrates the return of neoconservatism