Here's Why
Kamala can't win
Post-New Year's
2020 Power Rankings
Beto O'Rourke's
Path to the Nomination
Richard Ojeda's
Path to the Nomination
Post Mid-Terms
2020 Power Rankings

MFP accurately predicts 2018

MFP & co. Published December 30, 2017
  • 2018 is the year Caitlin Carmichael surpasses Peyton List as the best fmr. Disney actress

    Though I am personally partial to Sammi Hanratty:

  • Meghan McCain’s husband is a gay

    I don’t know if he’ll come out in 2018 but mark my words, one day he make a tearful announcement.

  • Trump will not get impeached in 2018

    If Trump devoured a live baby with his bare hands, congressional Republicans would still stand by him for the good of the Reich.

    Therefore, the absolute earliest impeachment proceedings could begin is Jan. 2019. Unfortunately, by then, leading presidential candidates will have adopted a “play it safe” strategery of being as vague and amiable as possible so as not to rile up Trump’s brownshirts– and will therefore distance themselves from any impeachment movement.

  • There is a 66% chance that Mueller’s findings are exculpatory

    There is a 2/3 chance that Mueller concludes that Trump personally (A) was too incompetent to collude and/or (B) unaware, given his dementia and senility.

  • Doug Jones will suck up to Trump

    Alabamistan Senator-erect Doug Jones is already up for reerection in 2020– a presidential year in which the KKK is expected to turn out at 2016 levels. As such, expect Doug Jones to find common ground with Trump whenever possible.

  • The GOP keeps the Senate

    Democrats are currently +12 in the generic ballot, but Trump and Stephen Miller will launch false flags to erode that number.

  • Trump’s Zionist tax cut will be his only major legislative achievement heading into 2018 and 2020

    • Entitlement reform – Republicans cannot support entitlement cuts so soon after gifting trillions of taxpayer dollars to the Jewish donor class.
    • Infrastructure – Fiscal conservatives cannot support additional deficit spending so soon after gifting trillions of taxpayer dollars to the Jewish donor class.
    • The Wall – lol.
  • Gavin Newsom will win the California gubernatorial erection and immediately start running for POTUS

    Good politicians are blessed with great timing.

    After getting suckered on Al Franken’s resignation, the Democrat base is willing to forgive Newsom for his propensity to put his dick in everything…

    Please God, don’t let him have Chelsea the Hot Code Pink Protester

  • Belen Sisa, America’s cutest illegal alien, will NOT be deported

Green New Deal

MFP accurately reax to the Green New Deal

The Green New Deal presupposes that recent global temperature and weather patterns (~500 out of 4.5 billion years) are "correct" and should be frozen in place in perpetuity.

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This is happening

MFP’s 2018
Year End Awards

MFP accurately presents awards for 2018's greatest Uncle Tom, hottest porn star, and much, much more!

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If Vladimir Putin had sent her instead, she'd be the First Lady by now

What was the GRU thinking?? I feel like Maria Butina would have a hard time placing in a Dagestanian beauty pageant.

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MFP accurately projects

Here’s Beto’s path to the Democrat nomination

Beta has 100% name ID and approaching universal favorability among the Democrat activists that will decide the Iowa caucuses.

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Green New Deal

MFP accurately reax to the Green New Deal

The Green New Deal presupposes that recent global temperature and weather patterns (~500 out of 4.5 billion years) are "correct" and should be frozen in place in perpetuity.

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Erection 2020

Post-Mueller
2020 Power Rankings

Mayor Pete's candidacy is fascinating because it perfectly illustrates the changing tastes of Americans.

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THIS IS AWKWARD

Asians and Jews do better than Blacks at the SAME “failing” schools

I know what you're thinking, but it's not that either.

Low-Information Voters

Tucker Carlson: Tea Party conservatives are “morons”

EEach night, Tucker Carlson trolls liberal elites with his plucky yet affable demeanor. But this character was only written 3 years ago by the legendary Roger Ailes.

Mark Levin suddenly doesn't have a problem with the President
playing golf.

“He’s hooked on golf like drug addicts are hooked on drugs…he used to do pot, he used to do coke, now he does golf!”

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Alex Jones reveals:
Sandy Hook massacre was
“completely fake with actors”

“Sandy Hook is a synthetic, completely fake, with actors, in my view, manufactured...zero murders occurred in Newtown, you've got the green screens...there were actors, clearly.”

Alex Jones insists
he didn’t promote Pizzagate, but here’s his deleted video

In a February, Alex Jones denied ever promoting Pizzagate, blaming the media for spreading misinformation-- but here's his deleted video!

Would Marry

The Most Beautiful Intelligent Woman on Planet Earth.

This is not to say that Emma Dumont is smarter than Kaileigh Brandt (their diverging interests makes that difficult to quantify with anything approaching certainty) or more carnally desirable than Mélissa Theuriau circa 2005.

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Bwahahaha!
Rand Paul Totally Betrays Libertarians

Since Trump's erection, fmr. libertarian Rand Paul has shamelessly flip-flopped on issues including Executive Orders, Executive Powers, Immigration, and much more!

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Would Marry

The Most Beautiful Intelligent Woman on Planet Earth.

This is not to say that Emma Dumont is smarter than Kaileigh Brandt (their diverging interests makes that difficult to quantify with anything approaching certainty) or more carnally desirable than Mélissa Theuriau circa 2005.

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Emergency Fap Check

Wait, Is Sarah McDaniel Actually The Hottest Smart Chick On Earth??

Earlier this year, MFP declared Emma Dumont "the most beautiful smart woman on Earth". But reader Nate recently urged MFP to reconsider.

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BREAKING:
The 2 Cutest Girls at Purdue are Republican!

According to MFP's research, this is the 1st time this has ever happened!

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The Cuckening

Wow, Jordan Peterson
got cucked hard!

Jordan Peterson is a dumb person’s idea of what a smart person is like. He’s made a fortune off making retards feel smart by parroting his pseudointellectual “common sense”.

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The Regime

Alex Jones accurately compares Trump to Jesus

Mark Levin vs. Hippie Stoner Pacifist Caller

Adam Carolla: Cops aren’t racist, just “the dumbest, angriest guys”

The Regime

Bwahahaha: Brad Thor and John Ziegler shocked to learn Republicans are racist

Do you even UFC bro?

Michael Bisping accurately discusses women