MFP accurately reax to Alabamistan results

MP   |   Published December 12, 2017

I was wrong.

Tonight’s results lower MFP’s accuracy rating to 96.1%.

  • Fox News quickly throws Roy Moore under the bus

    Fox News and Laura Ingraham went from cheerleading Roy Moore to conceding his criminality in the span of 3 hours…


     

  • Voter suppression backfired

    They just couldn’t leave well enough alone.

    Republican statewide candidates always win by ~20 points.

    Nevertheless, the Alabamistan GOP, in all its wisdom, engaged in widespread and aggressive voter intimidation and suppression efforts.

    Unfortunately for Steve Bannon and the KKK, this had the effect of riling up normally apathetic African-American voters that never ever turn out for off-year erections.

    Obama-level turnout among African-Americans for a short, chubby white dude w/ zero charisma.

    Jesus.

     

  • Young voters saved the world

    Young voters finally turned up for once, but it wouldn’t have mattered if the elderly came out in their usual numbers…

     

  • Drudge

     

  • Breitbart

    I don’t understand the strategery of publishing these fake polls– unless it’s all just for the clicks??

     

  • Ralph Reed is definitely going to Hell

    To his credit, his adult daughter is hot.

     

  • Charles Barkley

    The Alabamistan native and Auburn alum is the 1st celebrity to ever significantly help his or her candidate. Barkley’s strategery of scolding voters and calling them “idiots” was surprisingly successful…

    At some point, we’ve got to stop looking like idiots to the nation.

    The tough love worked…


     

  • Doug Jones 2020 begins on Wednesday

    This is the seat Jeff Sessions won in 2014, so Jones will be up for reerection in 2020– he will need to start campaigning and raising $$$ immediately.

    Expect Jones to be a skosh closer to Trump than many would expect, on issues including:

    • Launching undeclared wars.
    • Tax cuts for the Jews.
    • Muh Israel!
    • Increasing pollution.

     

Bwahahaha! Trump throws loyal Nazi Paul Ryan under the bus

For 2 years, Paul Ryan has been a reliable rubber stamp for the Trump regime's Nazi agenda. His reward?

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If Vladimir Putin had sent her instead, she'd be the First Lady by now

What was the GRU thinking?? I feel like Maria Butina would have a hard time placing in a Dagestanian beauty pageant.

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MFP’s Accurate 2020
Power Rankings

Trump maintains a 66% chance of reerection.

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Actually, Trump can unilaterally fire Mueller

Many nerds mistakenly believe the Administrative Procedure Act of 1946 prevents Trump from firing Special Counsel Robert Mueller. Here's why they're wrong.

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Tucker Carlson: Tea Party conservatives are “morons”

Every night, Tucker Carlson trolls coastal liberal elites with his plucky, yet affable tribalism. But this character was only written 3 years ago by the great Roger Ailes. Prior to that, Tucker was your run-of-the-mill, Northeastern moderate elitist.

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Mark Levin suddenly doesn't have a problem with the President
playing golf.

“He’s hooked on golf like drug addicts are hooked on drugs…he used to do pot, he used to do coke, now he does golf!”

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Alex Jones reveals:
Sandy Hook massacre was
“completely fake with actors”

“Sandy Hook is a synthetic, completely fake, with actors, in my view, manufactured...zero murders occurred in Newtown, you've got the green screens...there were actors, clearly.”

Alex Jones insists
he didn’t promote Pizzagate, but here’s his deleted video

In a February, Alex Jones denied ever promoting Pizzagate, blaming the media for spreading misinformation-- but here's his deleted video!

Would Marry

The Most Beautiful Intelligent Woman on Planet Earth.

This is not to say that Emma Dumont is smarter than Kaileigh Brandt (their diverging interests makes that difficult to quantify with anything approaching certainty) or more carnally desirable than Mélissa Theuriau circa 2005.

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Bwahahaha!
Rand Paul Totally Betrays Libertarians

Since Trump's erection, fmr. libertarian Rand Paul has shamelessly flip-flopped on issues including Executive Orders, Executive Powers, Immigration, and much more!

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Would Marry

The Most Beautiful Intelligent Woman on Planet Earth.

This is not to say that Emma Dumont is smarter than Kaileigh Brandt (their diverging interests makes that difficult to quantify with anything approaching certainty) or more carnally desirable than Mélissa Theuriau circa 2005.

Read More
Emergency Fap Check

Wait, Is Sarah McDaniel Actually The Hottest Smart Chick On Earth??

Earlier this year, MFP declared Emma Dumont "the most beautiful smart woman on Earth". But reader Nate recently urged MFP to reconsider.

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The Cuckening

Wow, Jordan Peterson
got cucked hard!

Jordan Peterson is a dumb person’s idea of what a smart person is like. He’s made a fortune off making retards feel smart by parroting his pseudointellectual “common sense”.

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False Advertising

Katy Tur looks unrealistically sexy on Photoshopped book cover

Little kid asks Justin Amash about NSA spying and gay rights

Do you even UFC bro?

Dana White: Trump is a really honest dude

Do you even UFC bro?

Chael Sonnen no longer wants to beat up Lebron James

Michael Savage: Ted Cruz has an evil-looking face

Would Smash

ARGH! Fmr. OU cheerleader arrested for prostitution before I got to bang