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Here’s why Roy Moore is still going to win

Musha Hadeen Published November 16, 2017

Full disclosure: I am rooting for Roy Moore (1) to maintain MFP’s sky high accuracy rating and (2) because a Sen. Roy Moore is more damaging to the GOP brand than a Sen. Jeff Sessions or Mo Brooks.

Any moral qualms I have about supporting a pedophile are assuaged by the fact that the victims are from Alabamistan– a failed state run by uneducated, superstitious hillbillies stuck in the 15th century.

If you doubt this, consider that Roy Moore is a wealthy man and a fmr. Chief Justice– yet this is the best lawyer he could find in the state…

Alabamistan

National Rank
Murder Rate
#3
Life Expectancy
#49
Life Expectancy (Whites)
#49
Poverty Rate
#4
Federal Dependency Score
#4
Education Score
#44
Very Religious (self described)
#1
Time Spent Watching Porn Per Visit
#2

In Alabamistan, if Roy Moore hadn’t molested these women– then some other “devout Christian” surely would have.

So, fuck it.

Here’s why Roy Moore will win on Dec. 12…

  • (1) Polls skewed by shame

    The top line number looks worse than it is because many Alabamistans are understandably ashamed to tell pollsters they support a pedophile…

    But since no one who opposes child molestation thinks Moore should stay in the race– we can therefore safely assume that Moore’s actual level of support is closer to 54%…

    Ignore the top line number. Keep your eye on the percentage of Alabamistans that think Moore “should stay in the race”.

  •  

  • (2) 1 or more of Roy Moore’s accusers are liars

    Leigh Corfman is legit, but statistically speaking, at least 1 of the other accusers are liars.

    The same logic applies to Bill Clinton:

    • Monica Lewinsky
    • Paula Jones
    • Gennifer Flowers
    • Kathleen Willey
    • Juanita Broaddrick
    • Countless other accusers

    Most of the accusations are no doubt true, but statistically speaking, at least 1 or more of those fat bitches are liars.

  •  

  • (3) Doug Jones will be accused of sexual misconduct

    In recent years/months, liberals foolishly went all in on:

    We must believe victims/accusers regardless of common sense!!

    This leaves Doug Jones open to accusations of sexual misconduct later this month or early December. And, by Democrats’ own words, these false claims must necessarily be believed.

    Also, it doesn’t help that Jones has a creepy face…

  •  

  • (4) Alabamistan will recoil at Doug Jones’ supporters

    Doug Jones should spend the next 3 weeks espousing the views of a KKK Grand Wizard.

    Instead, Jones is aligning himself w/ minorities that Alabamistan’s “devout Christians” hate…

    This type of brazen tolerance will cause Alabamistans to rally around Moore’s message of “taking our country back” and “they took er jerbs”.

 
For these reasons, MFP gives Roy Moore a 70% chance to win next month’s special erection.

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