| Abella Danger |
8.49 |
Quintessential butterface. |
| Abby Hornacek |
8.5 |
Penalized for gigantism. |
| Abby Huntsman |
6.75 |
Penalized for looking exactly like her dad. |
| Ainsley Earhardt |
6.99 |
Getting old. |
| AJ Applegate |
8.99 |
If she went on a 3-week juice fast, she'd be a 10. |
| AJ Delgado, Jason Miller's fmr. mistress |
5.5 |
|
| Alex Witt |
4.5 |
|
| Alexa Bliss, WWE superstar |
9.49 |
Would be a 10 if she was 4 inches taller |
| Alexis Levinson |
6.5 |
|
| Alexis Wineman circa 2012 |
9.0 |
Her love could be my salvation. |
| Allison Williams, Brian Williams daughter |
7.25 |
Penalized for looking like her dad. |
| Alisyn Camerota |
5.25 |
|
| Amanda Carpenter |
6.5 |
Basic bitch. |
| Amy Jackson |
9.25 |
Perfect face. |
| Amy Kremer, the fake conservative activist |
3.75 |
I'd splooge on her, tbh. |
| Ana Kasparian |
6.25 |
I'm just not into it, she looks like an angry maid. |
| Ana Navarro |
3.99 |
I'd splooge on her, tbh. |
| Andrea Tantaros |
6.5 |
+ body, dumb face. |
| Ann Coulter |
5.0 |
I guarantee you her pubes are gray af. |
| Anna Kooiman |
7.99 |
She looks like a sexy chipmunk. |
| Andrea Mitchell |
2.25 |
Needs burka ASAP. |
| Antonietta Collins |
6.25 |
Don't be fooled by the makeup and angles. |
| April Ryan |
2.25 |
Disgusting. |
| April Ponnuru, Ramesh Ponnuru's wife |
2.99 |
I'd do her, tbh. |
| Ashley Parker |
5.0 |
|
| Aubrey O'Day, Don Jr.'s fmr. mistress (Prime) |
8.25 |
|
| Andrea Catsimatidis, Manhattan GOP Chair |
7.75 |
My mind says "gross", but my penis says "10/10". |
| Ashley Parker (WaPo) |
5.25 |
I'd do her tbh. |
| Barbara Mikulski |
0.75 |
Needs burka. |
| Baskin Champion |
9.49 |
10 face, but no boobs :( |
| Baskin Champion's Sister |
7.0 |
Much less attractive than her sister. |
| Belen Sisa the Undocumented Student |
6.5 |
|
| Bristol Palin (Prime, circa post-weight loss, pre-all the babies) |
7.75 |
|
| Britney Spears (Prime, circa "Oops, I Did It Again" video) |
9.25 |
|
| Brooke Baldwin |
6.49 |
Getting old. |
| Candace Owens, the fake conservative Black chick |
4.99 |
Penalized for race (don't blame me, blame the agents of enculturation). |
| Carly Fiorina |
5.0 |
Disgusting face, great legs. |
| Carmen Callaway |
9.49 |
Bonus points for looking ~18. |
| Carrie Prejean (Prime) |
9.25 |
|
| Caroline Heldman, that chick who accused Fox News |
6.5 |
Getting old. |
| Catherine Rampell |
6.49 |
Often overrated due to being surrounded by ugly old people. |
| Chelsea Clinton |
2.99 |
Needs burka ASAP. |
| Chelsea the Code Pink Protester (Chelsea Byers) |
7.75 |
Her love could be my salvation. |
| Christiane Amanpour |
2.99 |
Needs burka ASAP. |
| Claire McCaskill |
2.75 |
I'd splooge on her, tbh. |
| Courtney Byrd |
9.0 |
|
| Dana Bash |
5.5 |
|
| Dana Loesch |
6.25 |
Getting old. |
| Dana Perino |
6.0 |
GGILF. |
| Daniela Lopez Osorio |
8.25 |
The ass is perfection, but the face is highly overrated. |
| Danielle Bregoli, the "Cash Me Outside, How Bow Dah" girl |
N/A |
N/A |
| Danielle Weisberg |
7.0 |
She can get it. |
| Delaney Tarrgaryen |
N/A |
N/A |
| Denise Odie Joseph II, Dinesh D'Souza's fmr. mistress |
5.0 |
I'd do her, tbh. |
| Dishwasher Lady (Prime) |
7.25 |
|
| Dominika the Nuclear Power Plant Intern |
8.75 |
Self-explanatory |
| Eboni K. Williams, the Fox News Aunt Jemima |
6.49 |
Penalized for race (don't blame me, blame the agents of enculturation). |
| Elizabeth Warren |
2.25 |
Needs burka ASAP. |
| Elizabeth Nolan Brown |
5.75 |
|
| Ellison Barber |
6.75 |
Depreciating rapidly from 2013 prime. |
| Emma Dumont |
9.0 |
The most beautiful smart woman on Earth. |
| Emma DiGiovine, Jesse Watters fmr. mistress |
6.75 |
Quintessential butterface. |
| Erin Burnett |
6.5 |
Getting old. |
| Erin Schrode, the liberal with a never ending list of grievances |
6.0 |
Disturbingly deep voice. |
| Evgenia Medvedeva |
9.0 |
That Sailor Moon outfit tho. |
| Fresh Blonde |
10.0 |
Perfect 10. |
| Gina Loudon |
6.5 |
MILF. |
| Giselle Leon (Prime) |
8.25 |
|
| Glenn Beck's Wife |
5.5 |
GILF. |
| Gloria Allred |
2.5 |
You know what? Would. |
| Gloria Borger |
3.75 |
|
| Haley Byrd |
8.25 |
I love her, and that's it. |
| Hallie Jackson |
5.5 |
I will never convince you, but trust me: Not as hot as you think! |
| Hannity's Wife |
4.0 |
Ew. |
| Harris Faulkner |
4.0 |
Penalized for race (don't blame me, blame the agents of enculturation). |
| Heather Childers |
6.25 |
She's like West Virginia hillfolks' idea of what a hot chick looks like. |
| Heidi Cruz |
4.0 |
|
| Heidi Heitkamp |
1.0 |
Needs burka. |
| Hillary Clinton (current) |
2.5 |
Needs burka ASAP. |
| Hillary Clinton (prime) |
7.25 |
|
| Hillary McLellan the Chick That Lied About Cancer |
6.75 |
|
| Hope Hicks |
6.5 |
Beautiful from a great distance. |
| Hwang Mi Hee (Prime) |
8.75 |
Hottest Asian chick to ever live. |
| Irin Carmon |
6.75 |
|
| Ivanka Trump (current) |
6.75 |
Getting old. |
| Ivanka Trump (post nose surgery, 18-24) |
9.75 |
|
| Jacinda Arden |
4.49 |
Looks like a recovering crackwhore. |
| Jackie Alemany |
8.25 |
Penalized for gigantism, prominent nose. |
| Jeanette Dousdebes Rubio, Marco Rubio's wife |
5.75 |
|
| Jedediah Bila |
7.5 |
Getting old. |
| Jennifer Grossman, the fake libertarian |
6.25 |
Absolute GGILF. |
| Jillian Kirk, the racist MSU student |
7.5 |
|
| Jo Marney, the Nazi |
6.25 |
Has an old lady face. |
| Joy Behar |
1.5 |
Needs burka ASAP. |
| Joy Reid (Joy Ann Reid) |
2.0 |
Needs burka ASAP. |
| Julia Ioffe |
6.75 |
Getting old. |
| Julie Mason |
2.5 |
I'd splooge on her, tbh. |
| Kacey Jordan (woman Ted Cruz lusted after). |
7.5 |
Hot but kinda looks like a crackhead. |
| Kaileigh Brandt |
10.0 |
Not that hot, but genetically perfect. |
| Kaitlan Collins |
6.5 |
|
| Kamala Harris |
4.99 |
|
| Kanadajin3 (pre-Muslim conversion) |
6.5 |
I'd do her. |
| Kasie Hunt |
5.5 |
|
| Kat Timpf |
7.49 |
|
| Kata Sarka, the Hungarian chick that Trump tried to bang. |
7.5 |
+++ body, avg. face. |
| Kate Bouldan |
6.5 |
Basic bitch. |
| Kate Upton (Prime) |
9.0 |
Getting fat. |
| Kathryn Limbaugh, Rush Limbaugh's wife |
4.75 |
|
| Katie Glueck |
6.99 |
Bonus points for looking ~18. |
| Katie Lou Samuelson |
6.0 |
Hot face, penalized for height. |
| Katie Nolan |
7.0 |
Face is overrated. |
| Katie Packer, the flip-flopping RINO |
2.5 |
Needs burka ASAP. |
| Katie Pavlich |
6.49 |
Penalized for gigantism. |
| Katrina Pierson |
6.0 |
Looks like an evil koala bear. |
| Katy Tur |
6.75 |
Disturbingly unattractive without makeup. |
| Kaylee Moats, the Chick with No Vagina |
7.25 |
|
| Kayleigh McEnany |
7.0 |
She looks like a sexy, retarded fish. |
| Kellyanne Conway |
4.75 |
Facially repulsive. |
| Kim Yo-jong, Kim Jong-un's sister |
2.99 |
Needs burka. |
| Kimberly Guilfoyle |
6.5 |
Repulsive without makeup. |
| Kinga Duda |
7.0 |
Basic bitch. |
| Kirsten Gillibrand |
5.5 |
|
| Kirsten Powers |
5.5 |
|
| Kristen Soltis Whatsherface |
7.0 |
|
| Kristen Stewart |
8.25 |
|
| Kristin Tate |
7.99 |
Often overrated due to being surrounded by ugly old people. |
| Kristine Leahy |
8.25 |
I dunno, she vascillates from 7.5 to 9.0. |
| Kyle Nolan, Eric Bolling's assistant |
8.25 |
LTR material, but not hot per se. |
| Laci Green, the adorable feminazi |
7.25 |
Chubbiness offset by implied promiscuity. |
| Laura Ingraham |
6.0 |
Getting old. |
| Laura Jayes, the reporter who broke the Turnbull-goofing-on-Trump story |
6.5 |
+ body, mediocre face. |
| Lauren Southern |
6.49 |
Basic Bitch. |
| Lee Ann McAdoo |
6.5 |
+ boobs, mediocre face. |
| Lili Simmons |
8.5 |
At first glance, easily a 9-- but her face looks jacked up under certain angles/lighting. |
| Liv Morgan |
9.0 |
|
| Liz Plank |
6.5 |
Manly face offset by heavy use of feminine wiles. |
| Louise Linton, Steve Mnuchin's wife |
6.49 |
Her angry ex-wife face is a turnoff. |
| Lyda Loudon |
6.75 |
|
| Maria Bartiromo |
5.99 |
GGILF. |
| Maria Butina, Russian Spy |
5.0 |
Super ugly face. |
| Marianne Copenhaver, the Neocon Girl |
6.49 |
Sexy hair and glasses conceal jacked up face. |
| Marilyn Monroe (Prime) |
6.75 |
Basic bitch by today's standards. |
| Marsha Blackburn |
5.5 |
GGILF. |
| Martha MacCallum |
5.25 |
Getting old. |
| Meghan McCain |
5.25 |
I'd splooge on her, tbh. |
| Mélissa Theuriau circa 2005 |
10.0 |
Perfect 10 circa 2005. |
| Melania Trump |
5.75 |
Beautiful from a great distance. |
| Megyn Kelly |
6.75 |
Getting old. |
| Michelle Fields |
6.49 |
Nice body, ugly face. |
| Michelle Malkin |
4.25 |
She has to go back. |
| Michelle Obama |
2.99 |
|
| Michelle Runde |
7.0 |
Cutest gainfully employed vegan ever. |
| Mika Brzezinski |
5.49 |
I'd do her, tbh. |
| Mila Moire, the artist who lays eggs with her vagina (Prime) |
8.49 |
|
| Minka Kelly |
8.99 |
She is as hot as you can humanly be without breaking 9. |
| Molly Line |
5.75 |
Getting old. |
| Monica Crowley |
4.99 |
I think I'd rather do Marsha Blackburn, tbh. |
| Monica Lewinsky circa Clinton affair |
5.75 |
I'd do her, tbh. |
| Nadya from Pussy Riot (Nadezhda Tolokonnikova) |
6.25 |
Ugly face offset by heavy use of feminine wiles. |
| Nasim Aghdam |
5.5 |
Getting old. |
| Natasha Bertrand |
6.5 |
Super cute, but face has slight hint of Down syndrome. |
| Nancy Pelosi |
1.75 |
Needs burka ASAP. |
| Natalia Lima, Ed Henry's fmr. mistress. |
6.75 |
Older than photos would suggest. |
| Nicolle Wallace |
6.49 |
I hate how she spells her name |
| Noor Tagouri, the Hottest Muslim |
7.25 |
|
| Norah O'Donnell (Prime) |
8.25 |
LTR material. |
| Olivia Harlan |
9.0 |
|
| Paige, WWE superstar |
6.75 |
|
| Paige, WWE superstar (Prime) |
8.99 |
|
| Peyton List |
8.49 |
|
| Poppy Harlow |
5.99 |
I don't get the appeal. |
| Rachel Maddow |
4.5 |
I'd splooge on her, tbh. |
| Riley Reid |
9.25 |
|
| Ronna McDaniel, GOP Chairthing |
3.0 |
Has Down syndrome face. |
| Roseanne Barr |
1.75 |
Needs burka. |
| Salena Zito |
1.99 |
Needs burka. |
| Sami Main |
7.0 |
Bonus points for looking ~18. |
| Sammi Hanratty |
8.75 |
Bonus points for looking ~18. |
| Sandra Smith |
6.5 |
Getting old. |
| Sarah Tiana, the hypocritical comedian |
6.49 |
|
| Sarah Flores, Trump Propaganda Czar |
5.99 |
Oh so close to being hot. |
| Sarah McDaniel, the model w/ husky eyes |
9.5 |
A 10 but not a 10. |
| Sarah Huckabee |
2.75 |
Looks like a fat racoon. |
| Sarah Palin |
5.75 |
GGILF. |
| Sarah Palin (Prime) |
6.99 |
|
| SE Cupp |
6.5 |
Manly jawline, fat arms. |
| Shannon Bream |
6.75 |
Getting old. |
| Sigrid Maurer |
6.24 |
Perfect "casting" body. |
| Simona Mangiante, George Papadopoulos' wife |
6.5 |
Do not be fooled by the Instagram angles. |
| Shera Berchard (Prime) |
8.0 |
|
| Stephanie Ann Cook |
8.75 |
|
| Stormy Daniels circa when Trump smashed |
7.5 |
Mediocre face. |
| Susan Hennessey, natsat expert |
6.49 |
The crazy eyes are starting to work for me. |
| Tamara Holder (Prime) |
6.5 |
Submissive personality makes up for repulsive face. |
| Tara Palmieri |
7.49 |
Classic marry her to get her off the market, then realize you've made terrible mistake. |
| Taylor Riggs |
7.25 |
LTR material. |
| Tiffany Thompson, Ezekiel Elliot's ex |
7.25 |
|
| Tiffany Trump |
7.25 |
Hot, but kind of looks like a blowup doll. |
| Tomi Lahren |
6.75 |
Great body, but has a bitter ex-wife face. |
| Trish Regan |
6.75 |
Getting old. |
| Tulsi Gabbard |
4.99 |
Looks like a giant eskimo w/ terrible skin.. |
| Whoopi Goldberg |
1.5 |
Needs burka ASAP. |
| Zoey Kush |
8.75 |
Bonus points for looking ~18. |
