On Joe Rogan’s podcast, comedian Bill Burr claimed that perennial presidential candidate Gary Johnson is “sane”:
[Ted Cruz] creeped me out…I voted for Gary Johnson…I like that guy. He just was sane!
Although Bill’s remarks are in stark contrast to Gary Johnson…
To his credit, Bill’s “lesbian construction worker” routine is the funniest joke of the post-Trump era…
| Abella Danger | 8.49 | Quintessential butterface. |
| Abby Hornacek | 8.5 | Penalized for gigantism. |
| Abby Huntsman | 6.75 | Penalized for looking exactly like her dad. |
| Ainsley Earhardt | 6.99 | Getting old. |
| AJ Applegate | 8.99 | If she went on a 3-week juice fast, she'd be a 10. |
| AJ Delgado, Jason Miller's fmr. mistress | 5.5 | |
| Alex Witt | 4.5 | |
| Alexa Bliss, WWE superstar | 9.49 | Would be a 10 if she was 4 inches taller |
| Alexis Levinson | 6.5 | |
| Alexis Wineman circa 2012 | 9.0 | Her love could be my salvation. |
| Allison Williams, Brian Williams daughter | 7.25 | Penalized for looking like her dad. |
| Alisyn Camerota | 5.25 | |
| Amanda Carpenter | 6.5 | Basic bitch. |
| Amy Jackson | 9.25 | Perfect face. |
| Amy Kremer, the fake conservative activist | 3.75 | I'd splooge on her, tbh. |
| Ana Kasparian | 6.25 | I'm just not into it, she looks like an angry maid. |
| Ana Navarro | 3.99 | I'd splooge on her, tbh. |
| Andrea Tantaros | 6.5 | + body, dumb face. |
| Ann Coulter | 5.0 | I guarantee you her pubes are gray af. |
| Anna Kooiman | 7.99 | She looks like a sexy chipmunk. |
| Andrea Mitchell | 2.25 | Needs burka ASAP. |
| Antonietta Collins | 6.25 | Don't be fooled by the makeup and angles. |
| April Ryan | 2.25 | Disgusting. |
| April Ponnuru, Ramesh Ponnuru's wife | 2.99 | I'd do her, tbh. |
| Ashley Parker | 5.0 | |
| Aubrey O'Day, Don Jr.'s fmr. mistress (Prime) | 8.25 | |
| Andrea Catsimatidis, Manhattan GOP Chair | 7.75 | My mind says "gross", but my penis says "10/10". |
| Ashley Parker (WaPo) | 5.25 | I'd do her tbh. |
| Barbara Mikulski | 0.75 | Needs burka. |
| Baskin Champion | 9.49 | 10 face, but no boobs :( |
| Baskin Champion's Sister | 7.0 | Much less attractive than her sister. |
| Belen Sisa the Undocumented Student | 6.5 | |
| Bristol Palin (Prime, circa post-weight loss, pre-all the babies) | 7.75 | |
| Britney Spears (Prime, circa "Oops, I Did It Again" video) | 9.25 | |
| Brooke Baldwin | 6.49 | Getting old. |
| Candace Owens, the fake conservative Black chick | 4.99 | Penalized for race (don't blame me, blame the agents of enculturation). |
| Carly Fiorina | 5.0 | Disgusting face, great legs. |
| Carmen Callaway | 9.49 | Bonus points for looking ~18. |
| Carrie Prejean (Prime) | 9.25 | |
| Caroline Heldman, that chick who accused Fox News | 6.5 | Getting old. |
| Catherine Rampell | 6.49 | Often overrated due to being surrounded by ugly old people. |
| Chelsea Clinton | 2.99 | Needs burka ASAP. |
| Chelsea the Code Pink Protester (Chelsea Byers) | 7.75 | Her love could be my salvation. |
| Christiane Amanpour | 2.99 | Needs burka ASAP. |
| Claire McCaskill | 2.75 | I'd splooge on her, tbh. |
| Courtney Byrd | 9.0 | |
| Dana Bash | 5.5 | |
| Dana Loesch | 6.25 | Getting old. |
| Dana Perino | 6.0 | GGILF. |
| Daniela Lopez Osorio | 8.25 | The ass is perfection, but the face is highly overrated. |
| Danielle Bregoli, the "Cash Me Outside, How Bow Dah" girl | N/A | N/A |
| Danielle Weisberg | 7.0 | She can get it. |
| Delaney Tarrgaryen | N/A | N/A |
| Denise Odie Joseph II, Dinesh D'Souza's fmr. mistress | 5.0 | I'd do her, tbh. |
| Dishwasher Lady (Prime) | 7.25 | |
| Dominika the Nuclear Power Plant Intern | 8.75 | Self-explanatory |
| Eboni K. Williams, the Fox News Aunt Jemima | 6.49 | Penalized for race (don't blame me, blame the agents of enculturation). |
| Elizabeth Warren | 2.25 | Needs burka ASAP. |
| Elizabeth Nolan Brown | 5.75 | |
| Ellison Barber | 6.75 | Depreciating rapidly from 2013 prime. |
| Emma Dumont | 9.0 | The most beautiful smart woman on Earth. |
| Emma DiGiovine, Jesse Watters fmr. mistress | 6.75 | Quintessential butterface. |
| Erin Burnett | 6.5 | Getting old. |
| Erin Schrode, the liberal with a never ending list of grievances | 6.0 | Disturbingly deep voice. |
| Evgenia Medvedeva | 9.0 | That Sailor Moon outfit tho. |
| Fresh Blonde | 10.0 | Perfect 10. |
| Gina Loudon | 6.5 | MILF. |
| Giselle Leon (Prime) | 8.25 | |
| Glenn Beck's Wife | 5.5 | GILF. |
| Gloria Allred | 2.5 | You know what? Would. |
| Gloria Borger | 3.75 | |
| Haley Byrd | 8.25 | I love her, and that's it. |
| Hallie Jackson | 5.5 | I will never convince you, but trust me: Not as hot as you think! |
| Hannity's Wife | 4.0 | Ew. |
| Harris Faulkner | 4.0 | Penalized for race (don't blame me, blame the agents of enculturation). |
| Heather Childers | 6.25 | She's like West Virginia hillfolks' idea of what a hot chick looks like. |
| Heidi Cruz | 4.0 | |
| Heidi Heitkamp | 1.0 | Needs burka. |
| Hillary Clinton (current) | 2.5 | Needs burka ASAP. |
| Hillary Clinton (prime) | 7.25 | |
| Hillary McLellan the Chick That Lied About Cancer | 6.75 | |
| Hope Hicks | 6.5 | Beautiful from a great distance. |
| Hwang Mi Hee (Prime) | 8.75 | Hottest Asian chick to ever live. |
| Irin Carmon | 6.75 | |
| Ivanka Trump (current) | 6.75 | Getting old. |
| Ivanka Trump (post nose surgery, 18-24) | 9.75 | |
| Jacinda Arden | 4.49 | Looks like a recovering crackwhore. |
| Jackie Alemany | 8.25 | Penalized for gigantism, prominent nose. |
| Jeanette Dousdebes Rubio, Marco Rubio's wife | 5.75 | |
| Jedediah Bila | 7.5 | Getting old. |
| Jennifer Grossman, the fake libertarian | 6.25 | Absolute GGILF. |
| Jillian Kirk, the racist MSU student | 7.5 | |
| Jo Marney, the Nazi | 6.25 | Has an old lady face. |
| Joy Behar | 1.5 | Needs burka ASAP. |
| Joy Reid (Joy Ann Reid) | 2.0 | Needs burka ASAP. |
| Julia Ioffe | 6.75 | Getting old. |
| Julie Mason | 2.5 | I'd splooge on her, tbh. |
| Kacey Jordan (woman Ted Cruz lusted after). | 7.5 | Hot but kinda looks like a crackhead. |
| Kaileigh Brandt | 10.0 | Not that hot, but genetically perfect. |
| Kaitlan Collins | 6.5 | |
| Kamala Harris | 4.99 | |
| Kanadajin3 (pre-Muslim conversion) | 6.5 | I'd do her. |
| Kasie Hunt | 5.5 | |
| Kat Timpf | 7.49 | |
| Kata Sarka, the Hungarian chick that Trump tried to bang. | 7.5 | +++ body, avg. face. |
| Kate Bouldan | 6.5 | Basic bitch. |
| Kate Upton (Prime) | 9.0 | Getting fat. |
| Kathryn Limbaugh, Rush Limbaugh's wife | 4.75 | |
| Katie Glueck | 6.99 | Bonus points for looking ~18. |
| Katie Lou Samuelson | 6.0 | Hot face, penalized for height. |
| Katie Nolan | 7.0 | Face is overrated. |
| Katie Packer, the flip-flopping RINO | 2.5 | Needs burka ASAP. |
| Katie Pavlich | 6.49 | Penalized for gigantism. |
| Katrina Pierson | 6.0 | Looks like an evil koala bear. |
| Katy Tur | 6.75 | Disturbingly unattractive without makeup. |
| Kaylee Moats, the Chick with No Vagina | 7.25 | |
| Kayleigh McEnany | 7.0 | She looks like a sexy, retarded fish. |
| Kellyanne Conway | 4.75 | Facially repulsive. |
| Kim Yo-jong, Kim Jong-un's sister | 2.99 | Needs burka. |
| Kimberly Guilfoyle | 6.5 | Repulsive without makeup. |
| Kinga Duda | 7.0 | Basic bitch. |
| Kirsten Gillibrand | 5.5 | |
| Kirsten Powers | 5.5 | |
| Kristen Soltis Whatsherface | 7.0 | |
| Kristen Stewart | 8.25 | |
| Kristin Tate | 7.99 | Often overrated due to being surrounded by ugly old people. |
| Kristine Leahy | 8.25 | I dunno, she vascillates from 7.5 to 9.0. |
| Kyle Nolan, Eric Bolling's assistant | 8.25 | LTR material, but not hot per se. |
| Laci Green, the adorable feminazi | 7.25 | Chubbiness offset by implied promiscuity. |
| Laura Ingraham | 6.0 | Getting old. |
| Laura Jayes, the reporter who broke the Turnbull-goofing-on-Trump story | 6.5 | + body, mediocre face. |
| Lauren Southern | 6.49 | Basic Bitch. |
| Lee Ann McAdoo | 6.5 | + boobs, mediocre face. |
| Lili Simmons | 8.5 | At first glance, easily a 9-- but her face looks jacked up under certain angles/lighting. |
| Liv Morgan | 9.0 | |
| Liz Plank | 6.5 | Manly face offset by heavy use of feminine wiles. |
| Louise Linton, Steve Mnuchin's wife | 6.49 | Her angry ex-wife face is a turnoff. |
| Lyda Loudon | 6.75 | |
| Maria Bartiromo | 5.99 | GGILF. |
| Maria Butina, Russian Spy | 5.0 | Super ugly face. |
| Marianne Copenhaver, the Neocon Girl | 6.49 | Sexy hair and glasses conceal jacked up face. |
| Marilyn Monroe (Prime) | 6.75 | Basic bitch by today's standards. |
| Marsha Blackburn | 5.5 | GGILF. |
| Martha MacCallum | 5.25 | Getting old. |
| Meghan McCain | 5.25 | I'd splooge on her, tbh. |
| Mélissa Theuriau circa 2005 | 10.0 | Perfect 10 circa 2005. |
| Melania Trump | 5.75 | Beautiful from a great distance. |
| Megyn Kelly | 6.75 | Getting old. |
| Michelle Fields | 6.49 | Nice body, ugly face. |
| Michelle Malkin | 4.25 | She has to go back. |
| Michelle Obama | 2.99 | |
| Michelle Runde | 7.0 | Cutest gainfully employed vegan ever. |
| Mika Brzezinski | 5.49 | I'd do her, tbh. |
| Mila Moire, the artist who lays eggs with her vagina (Prime) | 8.49 | |
| Minka Kelly | 8.99 | She is as hot as you can humanly be without breaking 9. |
| Molly Line | 5.75 | Getting old. |
| Monica Crowley | 4.99 | I think I'd rather do Marsha Blackburn, tbh. |
| Monica Lewinsky circa Clinton affair | 5.75 | I'd do her, tbh. |
| Nadya from Pussy Riot (Nadezhda Tolokonnikova) | 6.25 | Ugly face offset by heavy use of feminine wiles. |
| Nasim Aghdam | 5.5 | Getting old. |
| Natasha Bertrand | 6.5 | Super cute, but face has slight hint of Down syndrome. |
| Nancy Pelosi | 1.75 | Needs burka ASAP. |
| Natalia Lima, Ed Henry's fmr. mistress. | 6.75 | Older than photos would suggest. |
| Nicolle Wallace | 6.49 | I hate how she spells her name |
| Noor Tagouri, the Hottest Muslim | 7.25 | |
| Norah O'Donnell (Prime) | 8.25 | LTR material. |
| Olivia Harlan | 9.0 | |
| Paige, WWE superstar | 6.75 | |
| Paige, WWE superstar (Prime) | 8.99 | |
| Peyton List | 8.49 | |
| Poppy Harlow | 5.99 | I don't get the appeal. |
| Rachel Maddow | 4.5 | I'd splooge on her, tbh. |
| Riley Reid | 9.25 | |
| Ronna McDaniel, GOP Chairthing | 3.0 | Has Down syndrome face. |
| Roseanne Barr | 1.75 | Needs burka. |
| Salena Zito | 1.99 | Needs burka. |
| Sami Main | 7.0 | Bonus points for looking ~18. |
| Sammi Hanratty | 8.75 | Bonus points for looking ~18. |
| Sandra Smith | 6.5 | Getting old. |
| Sarah Tiana, the hypocritical comedian | 6.49 | |
| Sarah Flores, Trump Propaganda Czar | 5.99 | Oh so close to being hot. |
| Sarah McDaniel, the model w/ husky eyes | 9.5 | A 10 but not a 10. |
| Sarah Huckabee | 2.75 | Looks like a fat racoon. |
| Sarah Palin | 5.75 | GGILF. |
| Sarah Palin (Prime) | 6.99 | |
| SE Cupp | 6.5 | Manly jawline, fat arms. |
| Shannon Bream | 6.75 | Getting old. |
| Sigrid Maurer | 6.24 | Perfect "casting" body. |
| Simona Mangiante, George Papadopoulos' wife | 6.5 | Do not be fooled by the Instagram angles. |
| Shera Berchard (Prime) | 8.0 | |
| Stephanie Ann Cook | 8.75 | |
| Stormy Daniels circa when Trump smashed | 7.5 | Mediocre face. |
| Susan Hennessey, natsat expert | 6.49 | The crazy eyes are starting to work for me. |
| Tamara Holder (Prime) | 6.5 | Submissive personality makes up for repulsive face. |
| Tara Palmieri | 7.49 | Classic marry her to get her off the market, then realize you've made terrible mistake. |
| Taylor Riggs | 7.25 | LTR material. |
| Tiffany Thompson, Ezekiel Elliot's ex | 7.25 | |
| Tiffany Trump | 7.25 | Hot, but kind of looks like a blowup doll. |
| Tomi Lahren | 6.75 | Great body, but has a bitter ex-wife face. |
| Trish Regan | 6.75 | Getting old. |
| Tulsi Gabbard | 4.99 | Looks like a giant eskimo w/ terrible skin.. |
| Whoopi Goldberg | 1.5 | Needs burka ASAP. |
| Zoey Kush | 8.75 | Bonus points for looking ~18. |
