Kaileigh Brandt isn’t Helen Stifler-hot??
But she is “if there was a giant asteroid hurdling towards Earth, special forces units would be deployed to take Kaileigh to a top secret gov’t bunker, so that she could one day repopulate the planet with her superior genetics” hot.
Kaileigh is in the top percentile in the following categories:
- (1) Intelligence
- (2) Athleticism
- (3) Perfectly symmetrical face
Intelligence
Not only was Kaileigh among the only analysts to predict that the then-shitty Cleveland Cavaliers would stymie the then-unstoppable Steph Curry in 2016– she also knows a bunch of other shit:
And she’s a math major…
I kept three though pic.twitter.com/UN8nb8xyTo
— Kaileigh Brandt (@kaileighbrandt) December 3, 2016
When will I be cool? pic.twitter.com/4pho2n1Xca
— Kaileigh Brandt (@kaileighbrandt) July 4, 2016
Here is the solution to #9 @k_uuang9 pic.twitter.com/THL3WKhlXZ
— Kaileigh Brandt (@kaileighbrandt) December 16, 2016
Athleticism
Kaileigh’s sturdy, but feminine frame suggests she can bear multiple children, and thrive in a post-apocalyptic world.
For a girl, Kaileigh has tremendous balance, strength, and hand/eye coordination.
[photos deleted, sad!]
Symmetrical face
Somewhat harsh facial features are offset by excellent skin and perfectly symmetrical face, and general hotness.
My snapchat's kaileagle if you want more videos of forgetting to turn the sound on😃 pic.twitter.com/CEfqbiuZq7
— Kaileigh Brandt (@kaileighbrandt) August 30, 2016
I have two pairs of sweatpants on by the way pic.twitter.com/zH1YzgsgFr
— Kaileigh Brandt (@kaileighbrandt) January 1, 2017
When a TV outlet tells you to wear a hoodie and doesn't care if you wear minimal makeup and you're WAITING FOR THE CATCH pic.twitter.com/FXpcCZuo6P
— Kaileigh Brandt (@kaileighbrandt) December 1, 2016
Liz Lemon noises
After pwning her dumb male colleague with “[the 76ers] always make good decisions” burn, Kaileigh does an obnoxious Liz Lemon laugh…
It’s starting to grow on me, tbh…
Cali made me so soft pic.twitter.com/WpJB2teztQ
— Kaileigh Brandt (@kaileighbrandt) December 16, 2016
Accurate Rating
| Intelligence factored in | ||
|---|---|---|
| US/UK | 8.75 | 9.5 |
| Iowa | 9.25 | 9.0 |
| Miami | 8.5 | 8.5 |
| Asia | 9.99 | 9.75 |
| Saudi Arabia | 9.99 | 8.5 |
| Mom & Dad | 10.0 | 1,000,000 |
