Kaileigh Brandt isn’t Helen Stifler-hot??

But she is “if there was a giant asteroid hurdling towards Earth, special forces units would be deployed to take Kaileigh to a top secret gov’t bunker, so that she could one day repopulate the planet with her superior genetics” hot.

Kaileigh is in the top percentile in the following categories:

• (1) Intelligence
• (2) Athleticism
• (3) Perfectly symmetrical face

Intelligence

Not only was Kaileigh among the only analysts to predict that the then-shitty Cleveland Cavaliers would stymie the then-unstoppable Steph Curry in 2016– she also knows a bunch of other shit:

A video posted by Kaileigh Brandt (@kaileighbrandt) on Nov 2, 2016 at 3:34pm PDT

And she’s a math major…

I kept three though pic.twitter.com/UN8nb8xyTo

— Kaileigh Brandt (@kaileighbrandt) December 3, 2016

When will I be cool? pic.twitter.com/4pho2n1Xca

— Kaileigh Brandt (@kaileighbrandt) July 4, 2016

Here is the solution to #9 @k_uuang9 pic.twitter.com/THL3WKhlXZ

— Kaileigh Brandt (@kaileighbrandt) December 16, 2016

 

Athleticism

Kaileigh’s sturdy, but feminine frame suggests she can bear multiple children, and thrive in a post-apocalyptic world.

A photo posted by Kaileigh Brandt (@kaileighbrandt) on Aug 24, 2015 at 3:26pm PDT

For a girl, Kaileigh has tremendous balance, strength, and hand/eye coordination.

[photos deleted, sad!]

 

Symmetrical face

Somewhat harsh facial features are offset by excellent skin and perfectly symmetrical face, and general hotness.

A photo posted by Kaileigh Brandt (@kaileighbrandt) on Oct 10, 2015 at 10:10am PDT

My snapchat's kaileagle if you want more videos of forgetting to turn the sound on😃 pic.twitter.com/CEfqbiuZq7

— Kaileigh Brandt (@kaileighbrandt) August 30, 2016

I have two pairs of sweatpants on by the way pic.twitter.com/zH1YzgsgFr

— Kaileigh Brandt (@kaileighbrandt) January 1, 2017

When a TV outlet tells you to wear a hoodie and doesn't care if you wear minimal makeup and you're WAITING FOR THE CATCH pic.twitter.com/FXpcCZuo6P

— Kaileigh Brandt (@kaileighbrandt) December 1, 2016

Liz Lemon noises

After pwning her dumb male colleague with “[the 76ers] always make good decisions” burn, Kaileigh does an obnoxious Liz Lemon laugh…

It’s starting to grow on me, tbh…

Cali made me so soft pic.twitter.com/WpJB2teztQ

— Kaileigh Brandt (@kaileighbrandt) December 16, 2016

Accurate Rating

		Intelligence factored in
US/UK	8.75	9.5
Iowa	9.25	9.0
Miami	8.5	8.5
Asia	9.99	9.75
Saudi Arabia	9.99	8.5
Mom & Dad	10.0	1,000,000