Here's Why
Kamala can't win
Post-New Year's
2020 Power Rankings
Beto O'Rourke's
Path to the Nomination
Richard Ojeda's
Path to the Nomination
Post Mid-Terms
2020 Power Rankings

Skip Bayless defends the black football player that punched the trashy blonde chick

Musha Hadeen Published December 27, 2016

In 2014, 6’1, 200 lb. Oklahoma Sooners RB Joe Mixon was forced to defend himself against Amelia Molitor– who Mixon accurately claimed punches “like a dude”

FS1 personality Skip Bayless defended Mixon’s actions on Undisputed:

He was in the wrong place at the wrong time…she initiated the contact.

Skip Bayless, Esq. continued:

Both of them should’ve been charged w/ assault…the DA was stuck here, because if he charged Mixon w/ aggravated assault, by the letter of the law, he would be forced to charge her.

Having learned his lesson, the soon-to-be multi-millionaire no longer punches people– he just throws shit in their faces:

Mixon received a parking ticket this morning, then “threw a torn up parking citation, which allegedly struck the [parking attendant] in the face.”

I get it, I do.

But if I was a projected NFL late-1st to 3rd round draft pick, I would suppress my urges until I signed my first contract– at which point, I would just take out my misogynistic need to physically dominate women on fatherless groupies w/ low self-esteem.

This is happening

MFP’s 2018
Year End Awards

MFP accurately presents awards for 2018's greatest Uncle Tom, hottest porn star, and much, much more!

Read More

If Vladimir Putin had sent her instead, she'd be the First Lady by now

What was the GRU thinking?? I feel like Maria Butina would have a hard time placing in a Dagestanian beauty pageant.

Read More
MFP accurately projects

Here’s Beto’s path to the Democrat nomination

Beta has 100% name ID and approaching universal favorability among the Democrat activists that will decide the Iowa caucuses.

Read More
MFP accurately projects

Post-New Year's 2020 Power Rankings

Top presidential candidates typically don't make it official until the spring, but falling poll numbers have forced Team Warren to declare early.

Read More
The Regime

Actually, government shutdowns aren't that bad

Just between you and me, a temporary government shutdown is a total non-event.

THIS IS AWKWARD

Asians and Jews do better than Blacks at the SAME “failing” schools

I know what you're thinking, but it's not that either.

Low-Information Voters

Tucker Carlson: Tea Party conservatives are “morons”

EEach night, Tucker Carlson trolls liberal elites with his plucky yet affable demeanor. But this character was only written 3 years ago by the legendary Roger Ailes.

Mark Levin suddenly doesn't have a problem with the President
playing golf.

“He’s hooked on golf like drug addicts are hooked on drugs…he used to do pot, he used to do coke, now he does golf!”

Read More

Alex Jones reveals:
Sandy Hook massacre was
“completely fake with actors”

“Sandy Hook is a synthetic, completely fake, with actors, in my view, manufactured...zero murders occurred in Newtown, you've got the green screens...there were actors, clearly.”

Alex Jones insists
he didn’t promote Pizzagate, but here’s his deleted video

In a February, Alex Jones denied ever promoting Pizzagate, blaming the media for spreading misinformation-- but here's his deleted video!

Would Marry

The Most Beautiful Intelligent Woman on Planet Earth.

This is not to say that Emma Dumont is smarter than Kaileigh Brandt (their diverging interests makes that difficult to quantify with anything approaching certainty) or more carnally desirable than Mélissa Theuriau circa 2005.

Read More

Bwahahaha!
Rand Paul Totally Betrays Libertarians

Since Trump's erection, fmr. libertarian Rand Paul has shamelessly flip-flopped on issues including Executive Orders, Executive Powers, Immigration, and much more!

Read More
Would Marry

The Most Beautiful Intelligent Woman on Planet Earth.

This is not to say that Emma Dumont is smarter than Kaileigh Brandt (their diverging interests makes that difficult to quantify with anything approaching certainty) or more carnally desirable than Mélissa Theuriau circa 2005.

Read More
Emergency Fap Check

Wait, Is Sarah McDaniel Actually The Hottest Smart Chick On Earth??

Earlier this year, MFP declared Emma Dumont "the most beautiful smart woman on Earth". But reader Nate recently urged MFP to reconsider.

Read More

BREAKING:
The 2 Cutest Girls at Purdue are Republican!

According to MFP's research, this is the 1st time this has ever happened!

Read More
The Cuckening

Wow, Jordan Peterson
got cucked hard!

Jordan Peterson is a dumb person’s idea of what a smart person is like. He’s made a fortune off making retards feel smart by parroting his pseudointellectual “common sense”.

Read More

Would Smash

That prostitute Eliot Spitzer choked, would ya…for $5K?

Would Smash

MFP is baffled by Under Armour CEO banging MSNBC’s Stephanie Ruhle

Bwahahaha! Asian cop fired for racism

The Regime

Michael Savage: Ted Cruz “far better man” than Trump

Would Smash

Thicc Independent Trump voter is a MILF