Beto O'Rourke's
Path to the Nomination
Richard Ojeda's
Path to the Nomination
Post Mid-Terms
2020 Power Rankings

Cut the shit: Mary Fallin won’t be Trump’s VP

MFP & co. Published June 15, 2016

KOCO 5: Gov. Fallin meets w/ Trump fueling VP buzz…

If I were to receive a call that said, ‘I need you to help make America great again,’ I’d be happy to take that call.

The buzz benefits both parties, but Fallin clearly does not meet Trump’s definition of “looking presidential”– it is not difficult to divine what he’s thinking when he looks at her…

To her credit, Fallin was LTR material 50 years ago…

I know what you’re thinking:

Christina Fallin…

But don’t her eyes seem crazy…??

I feel strongly that a relationship w/ Christina would play out, predictably, as follows:

  1. She accuses you of cheating.
  2. She demands to see your phone, but you can’t give it to her because you actually are cheating (or trying to).
  3. The yelling is so loud that your neighbors call the cops.
  4. When the cops arrest you, she starts attacking the cop.
  5. She tells the Assistant DA that the cop and neighbor lied.
  6. The DA is disgusted by both of you, and drops the charges.
  7. She’s sooo sorry about getting you arrested that she lets you [censored] in her [censored].
  8. You’re in love w/ her all over again.

This repeats until you have kids, get divorced, and end up fighting over custody.

If Vladimir Putin had sent her instead, she'd be the First Lady by now

What was the GRU thinking?? I feel like Maria Butina would have a hard time placing in a Dagestanian beauty pageant.

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MFP accurately projects

Here’s Beto’s path to the Democrat nomination

Beta has 100% name ID and approaching universal favorability among the Democrat activists that will decide the Iowa caucuses.

Read More
THIS IS AWKWARD

Asians and Jews do better than Blacks at the SAME “failing” schools

I know what you're thinking, but it's not that either.

Low-Information Voters

Tucker Carlson: Tea Party conservatives are “morons”

EEach night, Tucker Carlson trolls liberal elites with his plucky yet affable demeanor. But this character was only written 3 years ago by the legendary Roger Ailes.

Mark Levin suddenly doesn't have a problem with the President
playing golf.

“He’s hooked on golf like drug addicts are hooked on drugs…he used to do pot, he used to do coke, now he does golf!”

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Alex Jones reveals:
Sandy Hook massacre was
“completely fake with actors”

“Sandy Hook is a synthetic, completely fake, with actors, in my view, manufactured...zero murders occurred in Newtown, you've got the green screens...there were actors, clearly.”

Alex Jones insists
he didn’t promote Pizzagate, but here’s his deleted video

In a February, Alex Jones denied ever promoting Pizzagate, blaming the media for spreading misinformation-- but here's his deleted video!

Would Marry

The Most Beautiful Intelligent Woman on Planet Earth.

This is not to say that Emma Dumont is smarter than Kaileigh Brandt (their diverging interests makes that difficult to quantify with anything approaching certainty) or more carnally desirable than Mélissa Theuriau circa 2005.

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Bwahahaha!
Rand Paul Totally Betrays Libertarians

Since Trump's erection, fmr. libertarian Rand Paul has shamelessly flip-flopped on issues including Executive Orders, Executive Powers, Immigration, and much more!

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Would Marry

The Most Beautiful Intelligent Woman on Planet Earth.

This is not to say that Emma Dumont is smarter than Kaileigh Brandt (their diverging interests makes that difficult to quantify with anything approaching certainty) or more carnally desirable than Mélissa Theuriau circa 2005.

Read More
Emergency Fap Check

Wait, Is Sarah McDaniel Actually The Hottest Smart Chick On Earth??

Earlier this year, MFP declared Emma Dumont "the most beautiful smart woman on Earth". But reader Nate recently urged MFP to reconsider.

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BREAKING:
The 2 Cutest Girls at Purdue are Republican!

According to MFP's research, this is the 1st time this has ever happened!

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The Cuckening

Wow, Jordan Peterson
got cucked hard!

Jordan Peterson is a dumb person’s idea of what a smart person is like. He’s made a fortune off making retards feel smart by parroting his pseudointellectual “common sense”.

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Chael Sonnen supports transgender bathrooms

Would Smash

Julia Ioffe makes adorable face in response to Michael Cohen’s treason

Would Smash

GOP $1.6 Million Abortion Playboy Chick is slightly overrated

Would Smash

It was so hot when Megyn Kelly did this

Mark Levin: “No evidence” that millions of illegal aliens voted illegally