The Independent: Central Park hosts all-female, naked production of “The Tempest”.
As you would expect, it was mostly a bunch of gross chicks.
With one stunning exception: Marisa Roper…
I know what you’re thinking:
She’s probably a liberal, bro! 60-year-old conservative chicks who don’t even get periods anymore like Ann Coulter are so much hotter bro!
My girlfriend is way better looking, bro!
You don’t have a girlfriend! And even if you did, she doesn’t look like this…
And she can’t do this…
Best case scenario
I get bitten by a vampire, but through a quirk of fate, I become a vampire with a soul– and spend my days brooding and trying to atone for my sins.
And I just happen to save Marisa from violent Bernie bros.
And even though I fall in love w/ her instantly? At the same time? I don’t want to fall for her because I never want to be vulnerable again!!
Yes, I almost certainly will end up sacrificing my un-life at some point– but it will be totally worth it.