You know who I want to spend the rest of my life with? Naked Shakespeare in the park chick

Mark Capra   |   Published May 23, 2016

The Independent: Central Park hosts all-female, naked production of “The Tempest”.

As you would expect, it was mostly a bunch of gross chicks.

Credit The Independent.

With one stunning exception: Marisa Roper…


I know what you’re thinking:

She’s probably a liberal, bro! 60-year-old conservative chicks who don’t even get periods anymore like Ann Coulter are so much hotter bro!

My girlfriend is way better looking, bro!

You don’t have a girlfriend! And even if you did, she doesn’t look like this…

To anyone who was on the community pier at 1:15PM today: I sincerely apologize for showing you my butt. It was necessary to take this artsy dance picture. I hope that you can find it in yourself to forgive my basic-ness, and any scarring images that it has burned into your memory 🍑😵

A photo posted by Marisa Roper (@marisa.roper) on

And she can’t do this…

A video posted by Marisa Roper (@marisa.roper) on

 

Best case scenario

I get bitten by a vampire, but through a quirk of fate, I become a vampire with a soul– and spend my days brooding and trying to atone for my sins.

And I just happen to save Marisa from violent Bernie bros.

And even though I fall in love w/ her instantly? At the same time? I don’t want to fall for her because I never want to be vulnerable again!!

Yes, I almost certainly will end up sacrificing my un-life at some point– but it will be totally worth it.

Bwahahaha! Trump throws loyal Nazi Paul Ryan under the bus

For 2 years, Paul Ryan has been a reliable rubber stamp for the Trump regime's Nazi agenda. His reward?

Read More

If Vladimir Putin had sent her instead, she'd be the First Lady by now

What was the GRU thinking?? I feel like Maria Butina would have a hard time placing in a Dagestanian beauty pageant.

Read More

MFP’s Accurate 2020
Power Rankings

Trump maintains a 66% chance of reerection.

Read More

Actually, Trump can unilaterally fire Mueller

Many nerds mistakenly believe the Administrative Procedure Act of 1946 prevents Trump from firing Special Counsel Robert Mueller. Here's why they're wrong.

Read More

Tucker Carlson: Tea Party conservatives are “morons”

Every night, Tucker Carlson trolls coastal liberal elites with his plucky, yet affable tribalism. But this character was only written 3 years ago by the great Roger Ailes. Prior to that, Tucker was your run-of-the-mill, Northeastern moderate elitist.

Read More

Mark Levin suddenly doesn't have a problem with the President
playing golf.

“He’s hooked on golf like drug addicts are hooked on drugs…he used to do pot, he used to do coke, now he does golf!”

Read More

Alex Jones reveals:
Sandy Hook massacre was
“completely fake with actors”

“Sandy Hook is a synthetic, completely fake, with actors, in my view, manufactured...zero murders occurred in Newtown, you've got the green screens...there were actors, clearly.”

Alex Jones insists
he didn’t promote Pizzagate, but here’s his deleted video

In a February, Alex Jones denied ever promoting Pizzagate, blaming the media for spreading misinformation-- but here's his deleted video!

Would Marry

The Most Beautiful Intelligent Woman on Planet Earth.

This is not to say that Emma Dumont is smarter than Kaileigh Brandt (their diverging interests makes that difficult to quantify with anything approaching certainty) or more carnally desirable than Mélissa Theuriau circa 2005.

Read More

Bwahahaha!
Rand Paul Totally Betrays Libertarians

Since Trump's erection, fmr. libertarian Rand Paul has shamelessly flip-flopped on issues including Executive Orders, Executive Powers, Immigration, and much more!

Read More
Would Marry

The Most Beautiful Intelligent Woman on Planet Earth.

This is not to say that Emma Dumont is smarter than Kaileigh Brandt (their diverging interests makes that difficult to quantify with anything approaching certainty) or more carnally desirable than Mélissa Theuriau circa 2005.

Read More
Emergency Fap Check

Wait, Is Sarah McDaniel Actually The Hottest Smart Chick On Earth??

Earlier this year, MFP declared Emma Dumont "the most beautiful smart woman on Earth". But reader Nate recently urged MFP to reconsider.

Read More
The Cuckening

Wow, Jordan Peterson
got cucked hard!

Jordan Peterson is a dumb person’s idea of what a smart person is like. He’s made a fortune off making retards feel smart by parroting his pseudointellectual “common sense”.

Read More

MP’s America’s Most Dangerous Enemies Ever Power Rankings

Would Smash

Stacey Dash’s friend is the most beautiful woman on Earth

Would Smash

I would pretend to support abortion to have sex with these pro-Planned Parenthood activists

Sean Hannity unimpressed w/ Mark Levin’s weight loss

Would Smash

Poland’s First Daughter is not hotter than Ivanka ya crazies!

Would Smash

Michael Savage lusts after Israeli terror victim Yovel Lewkowki