El Chorro has advice for Black Lives Matter

El Chorro Published August 11, 2015

This past weekend Bernie Sanders, a mild-mannered man who would be at home in a world designed by our Argentine Pope Francis, was shouted down at a rally by two loud women representing Black Lives Matter.

At that moment, even the most liberal Caucasians in the crowd were thinking Black Lives Matter only slightly more than Dismembered Fetuses Matter.

El Chorro’s Advice

As a favor to the Black Lives Matter and Mexican Lives Also Matter groups, I will tell a tale that I think will help them understand the mistakes they make when dealing with the gringo.

Sometimes on the Pampas, a Mexican gang will ride down and try to take over El Chorro’s territory. One such group positioned itself just over a
ridge and planned its attack on our bravehearted band of gauchos. While we waited, they partied to the point that El Chorro could not sleep.
Their guitar player was singing so loudly that even the tortoises made haste to vacate the sound of his wailing…

And so I spoke with their leader about the noise coming out of his camp. At first he tried acting like he did not understand me, but this did not work because we were both speaking in Spanish.

Finally, he agreed to have his guitar player sing only loud enough to be heard in their own encampment. I listened to him sing at this new, lower volume and agreed that we had reached an agreement…

Then, as I rode back to my camp, he started singing again just as loudly
as before!

(El Chorro will not tell you what happened next, but note that I am still here to tell the tale.)

This is how the gringos feel about you, black and Mexican people. Too
many of you will not respect the peace of those around you. I guarantee
that this is the core reason you are disliked, amigos. I know you think
you have little power to assert yourself in your society, but is
cranking up the volume the only way you can think of to dominate your
environment? Your actions only emphasize the impotence you decry.

The gringo likes his peace just as much as El Chorro does. Yet you hold
newsmakingly loud pool parties and act like no white man should
challenge your right to behave obnoxiously. You blare the music vomiting
out of your seedy Mexican cantinas as if all the neighborhoods around
you are inhabited by vampiros.

A few years ago, when a black youth was shot and killed by a gringo at a
Florida gas station for not muting his deafeningly throbbing speakers,
the tears shed by the other gringos were all tears of the crocodile.

You see, to a gringo, playing your music loud enough for him to hear it
is no different than storming a stage and asserting a false dominance
through aggressive, overwhelming force. And when you stab or shoot a
gringo, you are invading his peace in the exact same way. The only
difference is degree.

Respect his peace and the gringo may not love you, my black and Mexican friends, but he may finally agree that your Lives Actually Do Matter.

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