Here's Why
Kamala can't win
Post-New Year's
2020 Power Rankings
Beto O'Rourke's
Path to the Nomination
Richard Ojeda's
Path to the Nomination
Post Mid-Terms
2020 Power Rankings

The Best-Looking Chicks Working at Politico

MFP & co. Published May 19, 2014

UPDATE 1/5/19: This was uh, yeah I’m sorry for this content.

With circulation under 40,000, Politico has an influence disproportionate to its readership. By comparison, Rush Limbaugh reaches approximately 3 million listeners per day. Alex Jones, 400k.

Nevertheless, Politico is the paper of record for Washington’s elite– driving the national political narrative with Obama regime talking points disguised as “insider scoops”.

Though it is well-established that Katie Glueck is the most beautiful woman at Politico— as a service to our readers, MFP has compiled a list of the best-looking chicks at this anti-American den of snakes…

Chick Additional Deets
Elena Chiriboga Elena Chiriboga is Senior Web Producer for Politico Pro— a version of Politico targeted at professionals that will never pay for Politico Pro. This is a half-baked attempt at opening up a new revenue stream that closes shop in 6 months, tops. See for yourself, it sucks.
Racheal Bade Tax reporter and part-time professional dancer. That’s hot, except you would expect a dancer to be skinnier. Racheal would benefit greatly from a juice fast and 2-3x more makeup. You can “learn more” HERE.
Caroline Cullen Caroline Cullen has a legit rack. I would happily sign up for a 1-year subscription to Politico Magazine to caress those knockers for just 30 seconds. Currently, Caroline works on Politico Pro’s web team– which consists primarily of cropping thumbnails and being ignored by Elena Chiriboga. You can “learn more” about the aforementioned rack HERE.
Allie Grasgreen Allie Grasgreen reports on issues concerning higher education. I can’t think of a single negative thing to say about her. I would totes smash.
Jessica Huff Jessica Huff is a Web Producer. She does the same thing as a Senior Web Producer, except she gets paid less. Huff is a big Texan woman– too much woman for me. But if you’re into that, you can “learn more” HERE.
Emily Schultheis Emily Schultheis is an excellent reporter– and, for a woman– very intelligent. But I can’t be the only one who finds her impossibly difficult name to spell kind of a turn-off. You can “send tips” to Emily HERE.
Aubree Eliza Weaver Aubree is ridiculously cute. Her adorableness rivals even that of Katie Glueck’s. Like most web producers, she hates her job (I assume)– deriving little satisfaction from styling blockquotes for Jonathan Topatz’s imaginary made-up “sources close to to the situation”. You can “learn more” HERE.
Catherine Martel Politico Media Coordinator. I would break her off some. But word on the street is that nobody likes her. If pressed, her co-workers will doth protest too much– but the general consensus is that she has a stick up her hootenanny. You can “learn more” HERE.
Sloane Potter Oh, big surprise– Events Associate Sloane Potter is a super cute hipster. Is she insipid and vapid?? Kind of, but she’s TOTES ADORBS. You can “learn more” HERE.
This is happening

MFP’s 2018
Year End Awards

MFP accurately presents awards for 2018's greatest Uncle Tom, hottest porn star, and much, much more!

Read More

If Vladimir Putin had sent her instead, she'd be the First Lady by now

What was the GRU thinking?? I feel like Maria Butina would have a hard time placing in a Dagestanian beauty pageant.

Read More
MFP accurately projects

Here’s Beto’s path to the Democrat nomination

Beta has 100% name ID and approaching universal favorability among the Democrat activists that will decide the Iowa caucuses.

Read More
MFP accurately projects

Post-New Year's 2020 Power Rankings

Top presidential candidates typically don't make it official until the spring, but falling poll numbers have forced Team Warren to declare early.

Read More
The Regime

Actually, government shutdowns aren't that bad

Just between you and me, a temporary government shutdown is a total non-event.


Asians and Jews do better than Blacks at the SAME “failing” schools

I know what you're thinking, but it's not that either.

Low-Information Voters

Tucker Carlson: Tea Party conservatives are “morons”

EEach night, Tucker Carlson trolls liberal elites with his plucky yet affable demeanor. But this character was only written 3 years ago by the legendary Roger Ailes.

Mark Levin suddenly doesn't have a problem with the President
playing golf.

“He’s hooked on golf like drug addicts are hooked on drugs…he used to do pot, he used to do coke, now he does golf!”

Read More

Alex Jones reveals:
Sandy Hook massacre was
“completely fake with actors”

“Sandy Hook is a synthetic, completely fake, with actors, in my view, murders occurred in Newtown, you've got the green screens...there were actors, clearly.”

Alex Jones insists
he didn’t promote Pizzagate, but here’s his deleted video

In a February, Alex Jones denied ever promoting Pizzagate, blaming the media for spreading misinformation-- but here's his deleted video!

Would Marry

The Most Beautiful Intelligent Woman on Planet Earth.

This is not to say that Emma Dumont is smarter than Kaileigh Brandt (their diverging interests makes that difficult to quantify with anything approaching certainty) or more carnally desirable than Mélissa Theuriau circa 2005.

Read More

Rand Paul Totally Betrays Libertarians

Since Trump's erection, fmr. libertarian Rand Paul has shamelessly flip-flopped on issues including Executive Orders, Executive Powers, Immigration, and much more!

Read More
Would Marry

The Most Beautiful Intelligent Woman on Planet Earth.

This is not to say that Emma Dumont is smarter than Kaileigh Brandt (their diverging interests makes that difficult to quantify with anything approaching certainty) or more carnally desirable than Mélissa Theuriau circa 2005.

Read More
Emergency Fap Check

Wait, Is Sarah McDaniel Actually The Hottest Smart Chick On Earth??

Earlier this year, MFP declared Emma Dumont "the most beautiful smart woman on Earth". But reader Nate recently urged MFP to reconsider.

Read More

The 2 Cutest Girls at Purdue are Republican!

According to MFP's research, this is the 1st time this has ever happened!

Read More
The Cuckening

Wow, Jordan Peterson
got cucked hard!

Jordan Peterson is a dumb person’s idea of what a smart person is like. He’s made a fortune off making retards feel smart by parroting his pseudointellectual “common sense”.

Read More

Erection 2018

Actually, ALL socioeconomic systems work

Would Smash

Pop quiz: Which of the following does not belong?

Erection 2020

Here’s Beto O’Rourke’s path to the Democrat nomination

Mark Levin: “I despise the neocons! I am not a neocon!”

Bwahahaha! Trump University victim is totally retarded