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The Definitive Guide to Defending Rand Paul from Neocons and ‘Muricans

Mark Capra Published April 22, 2014

The neocon and low-information ‘Murican is immune to a reasoned defense of liberty. The former is intrinsically opposed to freedom, whereas the latter lacks the mental capacity to comprehend it (the Mike Huckabee supporter, for instance).

In either case, they can be tricked into supporting Rand Paul using the following rhetorical devices– some of which, while not outright deceptions, are mild distortions of necessity.

The Definitive Guide to Defending Rand Paul from Neocons and ‘Muricans

“Rand Paul wants to cut off aid to Israel!”
This is more or less true. But for obvious reasons, this is not something we wish to publicize.

The following is more palpable. In fact, Rand Paul test-drove this argument while in Israel in 2012. It proved immensely popular, according to Ralph Hallow.

Defense: Rand Paul wants Israel to have control over its own destiny. By ending dependency on foreign aid, Israel won’t have to ask America for permission to defend itself.
“Rand Paul is an isolationist!”
Defense: Rand Paul favors more engagement, not less. International relationships are strengthened through free trade, commerce, and the natural exchange of culture and ideas that result.

It is the interventionist that isolates America and fosters resentment around the world with constant threats of sanctions and military action.

“Rand Paul’s foreign policy is just like Obama’s!”
Rand Paul would not have intervened in Egypt, Libya, Syria, or Ukraine.

In that sense, Paul’s foreign policy is very different from Obama’s– whose disregard for civil liberties and proclivity for military adventurism has been Dick Cheney-esque.

Obviously, this is not something we want to publicize until after we win the GOP primary. Until then, we can deflect criticism of Rand Paul’s foreign policy by saying “Reagan” repeatedly, as demonstrated below…

Defense: Rand Paul is a Reagan conservative– a strong believer in “peace through strength”, not “war through strength”.

Ronald Reagan spoke out strongly against tyranny– but used the military sparingly, and as a last resort. Rand Paul endeavors to do the same.

“Rand Paul won’t stop Iran from acquiring nuclear weapons!”
This is true. Rand Paul cannot stop Iran from acquiring nuclear weapons (nor can anyone else).

But you must not convey this fact to the Marco Rubio supporter, lest you be subjected to an intelligible cacophony of neocon buzzwords like “Reagan”, “Tear down this wall”, “Evil Empire”, and so on.

Defense: Rand Paul will do everything in his power to stop Iran from acquiring nuclear weapons.
“Rand Paul won’t fight for traditional marriage!”
Again, this is more or less true. But rather than waste time engaging in an in-depth discussion with the so-con, our time is better served trying to trick them.
Defense: Rand Paul personally supports traditional marriage, but believes government should stay out of it.

Churches should decide what constitutes a religious union, not politicians and government bureaucrats (emphasize the term “government bureaucrats”– it’s one of the few big words Huckabee supporters know).

But I respect your opinion.

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