Here's Why
Kamala can't win
Post-New Year's
2020 Power Rankings
Beto O'Rourke's
Path to the Nomination
Richard Ojeda's
Path to the Nomination
Post Mid-Terms
2020 Power Rankings

Is Tom Cotton a Manchurian Candidate?

MFP & co. Published April 10, 2014

With neither candidate appreciably less anti-American than the other, MFP has endorsed cancer in the Arkansas Senate race. In any case, Cotton’s recent marriage to a woman that (1) is less attractive than you would expect for a war hero-slash-Senate candidate and (2) weird shit…

It became known in November that the Arkansas Republican was engaged. No further details were available about his bride-to-be…The Arkansas Times wrote about the marriage Sunday and said, after comparing photos from a Google search, it suspects Cotton’s new wife is named Anna Peckham.

Wait, what?

Actually quote: “Suspects Cotton’s new wife is named Anna Peckham”??

Suspects??

Some have put forth alternate unverified theories, including that this is a sham marriage of political convenience intended to deflect from accusations of homosexuality.

Another possible explanation is this:

While serving in Afghanistan, Tom Cotton was captured by Chinese intelligence and subjected to all manner of experimental brainwashing techniques. After having gained dominion over Cotton’s mind, the Chinese released Cotton with orders to climb the political ladder as a means of infiltrating the U.S. government. The “wife”, in that case, is a handler whose mission is to reinforce Cotton’s programming during moments of crises– when patriotism threatens to overcome his programming.

Green New Deal

MFP accurately reax to the Green New Deal

The Green New Deal presupposes that recent global temperature and weather patterns (~500 out of 4.5 billion years) are "correct" and should be frozen in place in perpetuity.

Read More
This is happening

MFP’s 2018
Year End Awards

MFP accurately presents awards for 2018's greatest Uncle Tom, hottest porn star, and much, much more!

Read More

If Vladimir Putin had sent her instead, she'd be the First Lady by now

What was the GRU thinking?? I feel like Maria Butina would have a hard time placing in a Dagestanian beauty pageant.

Read More
MFP accurately projects

Here’s Beto’s path to the Democrat nomination

Beta has 100% name ID and approaching universal favorability among the Democrat activists that will decide the Iowa caucuses.

Read More
Green New Deal

MFP accurately reax to the Green New Deal

The Green New Deal presupposes that recent global temperature and weather patterns (~500 out of 4.5 billion years) are "correct" and should be frozen in place in perpetuity.

Read More
Erection 2020

Post-Mueller
2020 Power Rankings

Mayor Pete's candidacy is fascinating because it perfectly illustrates the changing tastes of Americans.

Read More
THIS IS AWKWARD

Asians and Jews do better than Blacks at the SAME “failing” schools

I know what you're thinking, but it's not that either.

Low-Information Voters

Tucker Carlson: Tea Party conservatives are “morons”

EEach night, Tucker Carlson trolls liberal elites with his plucky yet affable demeanor. But this character was only written 3 years ago by the legendary Roger Ailes.

Mark Levin suddenly doesn't have a problem with the President
playing golf.

“He’s hooked on golf like drug addicts are hooked on drugs…he used to do pot, he used to do coke, now he does golf!”

Read More

Alex Jones reveals:
Sandy Hook massacre was
“completely fake with actors”

“Sandy Hook is a synthetic, completely fake, with actors, in my view, manufactured...zero murders occurred in Newtown, you've got the green screens...there were actors, clearly.”

Alex Jones insists
he didn’t promote Pizzagate, but here’s his deleted video

In a February, Alex Jones denied ever promoting Pizzagate, blaming the media for spreading misinformation-- but here's his deleted video!

Would Marry

The Most Beautiful Intelligent Woman on Planet Earth.

This is not to say that Emma Dumont is smarter than Kaileigh Brandt (their diverging interests makes that difficult to quantify with anything approaching certainty) or more carnally desirable than Mélissa Theuriau circa 2005.

Read More

Bwahahaha!
Rand Paul Totally Betrays Libertarians

Since Trump's erection, fmr. libertarian Rand Paul has shamelessly flip-flopped on issues including Executive Orders, Executive Powers, Immigration, and much more!

Read More
Would Marry

The Most Beautiful Intelligent Woman on Planet Earth.

This is not to say that Emma Dumont is smarter than Kaileigh Brandt (their diverging interests makes that difficult to quantify with anything approaching certainty) or more carnally desirable than Mélissa Theuriau circa 2005.

Read More
Emergency Fap Check

Wait, Is Sarah McDaniel Actually The Hottest Smart Chick On Earth??

Earlier this year, MFP declared Emma Dumont "the most beautiful smart woman on Earth". But reader Nate recently urged MFP to reconsider.

Read More

BREAKING:
The 2 Cutest Girls at Purdue are Republican!

According to MFP's research, this is the 1st time this has ever happened!

Read More
The Cuckening

Wow, Jordan Peterson
got cucked hard!

Jordan Peterson is a dumb person’s idea of what a smart person is like. He’s made a fortune off making retards feel smart by parroting his pseudointellectual “common sense”.

Read More

Michael Savage grossed out by fecal matter on toothbrushes: “Disgusting”

Would Smash

Julia Ioffe does sexy Russian accent again

1977 called, it wants Laura Ingraham’s collar blouse thing back

Michael Savage: Sarah Palin’s speechwriter ripped me off

Would Smash

Kristin Tate understandably checks herself out