ELY5: In a shocking upset (-36 to +15 in 3 weeks), 28-year-old self-described socialist Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez defeated high-ranking Democrat incumbent Joe Crowley in NY-14. This triggered Hannity and the Alt-Reich, who immediately went into fearmongering socialism hyperdrive.

Here’s the thing.

There have been like 10,000 socioeconomic systems in the course of human history, and there will be 10,000 more long after we’re dead. The notion that our 1.5-century-old mixed economy will be humanity’s final organizing principle is retarded. There’s like 5 billion years left until the sun extinguishes!

All socioeconomic systems work anyway

Free markets, centralized gov’t, low taxes, high taxes, tyranny, laissez-faire, fascism, socialism– they all work under the right circumstances, as illustrated below.

Pax Romana	Gov’t: Caesar Augustus and his successors ruled as emperors, while a neutered Roman Senate served as a rubber stamp. Economically, the Roman Empire drifted from command economy to feudalism. Results: 200 years of peace, prosperity, and imperial expansion unlike the world had ever known.
Han Dynasty	Gov’t: A tyrannical regime whose central planners tinkered w/ the economy and the destinies of millions as they saw fit. Results: Known as the Golden Age, the Han Dynasty’s 4-century rule brought about paper money, guns, and decimal numbers.
15th Century Spain	Gov’t: A religious monarchy ffs. Results: The 1st global superpower w/ territory on 5 continents, Spain was the richest and most powerful country on Earth.
Nazi Germany	Gov’t: Fascism/populism. Results: You can say what you want, but the economy improved drastically and the trains ran on time. For an anti-socialist party, the Nazis were pretty big on public assistance and social welfare programs for the non-murdered.
USSR	Gov’t: Communism/fascism. Results: You can say what you want, but from ~1920 to 1960, Russia went from an agriculture-based backwater rejected by Europe to an industrialized global superpower rivaled only by the US of A (which is like finishing 2nd in a 3-point shooting contest to Steph Curry). To this day, Russia remains one of the most feared nations on Earth thanks in large part to the work of Lenin & Stalin.
7 of the 10 Top Economies on Earth	Gov’t: Various, all 7 w/ nationalized or “socialist” universal healthcare. Results: Top 10 economies on Earth.
Top 10 Fastest Growing Economies on Earth	Gov’t: Various, ranging from heavily-centralized to borderline murderous, tyrannical regimes. Results: Top 10 fastest growing economies on Earth.

You could even argue that the hunter-gatherer system was a resounding success since it fed humanity for like 100,000 years, which is kind of the point.

Conclusion

Nothing matters. The only objectively correct way to spend one’s short time on Earth is experiencing as many drugs as possible, and more importantly, having sex with as many women as possible so as to dominate and ruin them for all future suitors.