Please God, make Trump invade or nuke North Korea

MP   |   Published August 8, 2017

In an effort to distract from his failed domestic agenda, Trump on Tuesday threatened war w/ North Korea from his golf club in Bedminster, New Jersey:

North Korea best not make any more threats to the United States. They will be met with fire and fury like the world has never seen…the likes of which the world has never seen before.

While South Korea would be totally fucked, an attack on North Korea (or Iran or Syria) could save America:

  • The Trump regime would be engulfed in unending crises from now until 2018– giving Democrats a chance at winning the House (currently, due to gerrymandering, Dems would fall 8-10 seats short).
  • Trump’s claims of an “amazing”, “luxurious” invasion would stand in stark contrast to the horror on the ground– thereby further eroding his “honest and trustworthy” numbers.
  • After an initial poll bump, Trump would permanently lose voters that only voted for him to “stick it” to media elites.
  • The current cyclical economic high would be hindered by constant uncertainty.

  • NSA, TSA, and border Gestapo would be bigger assholes than ever– infuriating the populace.
  • The sense of malaise and war weariness that plagued W’s 2nd term and McCain ’08 would return.
  • Jewish pundits that sell books by trolling dumb college students into violence would look like assholes.
  • There will be years of daily humanitarian crisis news.

    While most Trump voters would initially revel in the suffering, the unending conflicts– Korea, Syria, Iraq, Iran– would slowly take a Hurricane Katrina-like toll on the GOP.

And the best part of all is that Rand Paul would blame H.R. McMaster and other generals for the war– while continuing to praise Trump– like the true bitch that he is…

Please God…

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