Newly-erected French President Emmanuel Macron has won his 2nd landslide in as many months.
Projections show Macron’s newly formed République En Marche on course to win the largest governing majority since Charles de Gaulle in 1968. The scale of victory gives Macron a clear-ish mandate to push through controversial pro-business reforms, despite strong opposition from trade unions and the FP.
Macron’s political successes are remarkable, but not altogether surprising, given his anti-Christ/Damien-like knack for getting whatever he wants.
- “Whatever you do, I will marry you” – At 17, he vowed to marry his drama teacher Brigitte– a well-to-do mother of three from a respected family.
13 years and a stack of love letters later, she divorced her husband and wed Macron.
- Get rich quick – In 2008, Macron quit his shitty civil servant job to become an investment banker at Rothschild, where he quickly wormed his way to the top:
Young bankers were not so impressed…“He was the guy who would constantly say ‘thank you’,” a former colleague said. “He didn’t know what ebitda [earnings before interest, tax, depreciation and amortisation] was. He didn’t try to hide it. And instead of looking it up in a corporate finance book, he asked around, which was disarming.”
Macron earned a small fortune, primarily from his role advising Nestlé on its $12 billion Pfizer deal…
- Starts his own fucking party – Unable to push through pro-business reforms from within then-President Francois Hollande’s Socialist gov’t, Macron resigned to start his own political party.
Pundits were understandably skeptical. Here’s what Politico wrote at the time:
En Marche …remains stuck in first gear…he’s no Donald Trump…the problem is that his apparent good showing [in polls] is based on fictitious assumptions.
He moved into Elysée Palace less than 12 months later.
- Trump – After Trump humiliated and/or emasculated Turnbull, Merkel, Abbas, and especially the dude from Montenegro— Macron made it a point to troll Trump during #G7Taormina, and brag about it publicly…
- Putin – At the risk of polonium in his croissants, Macron called out Putin during a joint press conference at Versailles– then welcomed gay Chechen refugees.
Incidentally, is it really too much to ask Chechen gays to keep it in their pants until this whole thing blows over??
Note that when Emperor Palpatine executed Order 66, Obi-Wan Kenobi didn’t go around showing off his lightsaber to everybody. To the contrary, he and Master Yoda went into hiding for the next 20 years!!
And speaking of 20 years, I still don’t get how it took 20 years to finish the Death Star– it was damn near finished at the end of RotS…