Mofo Politics
Mofo Politics

2020 Power Rankings   May 31, 2017

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Gavin Newsom’s presidential ambitions hinge on winning the CA gubernatorial erection in 2018. It is his springboard into the top tier of the 2020 Democrat presidential primary.

Treasurer John Chiang is helping him do it.

Chiang officially threw his hat into the ring last month, and is doing remarkably well for someone that has absolutely no chance of winning:

By sucking up all the $$$ from Asian business owners (Seville Classics, Golden Star Technology, Archeon International Group, etc.) and securing some biggish endorsements, Chiang is inadvertently cockblocking legitimate threats to Newsom like Eric Garcetti, Steve Westly, or Kevin de León.

Jeb! played a similar role in ’16– hoarding $$$ and endorsements that would have otherwise gone to establishment favorites like Marco Rubio or Chris Christie.

By the time Jeb! dropped out, Trump had solidified his elderly, low-information base.

    Power Rankings

    Gavin Newsom

  • Communism 7
  • Fundraising 8
  • Look 9
  • Speech 7
  • Interview 7
  • Likability 4
  • Scandals 8
  • Maybe it’s the slicked-back American Psycho hair??

    But it just feels like his campaign could crumble at any moment– it feels like a crippling financial fraud scandal or Access Hollywood-like recording could surface at any moment.

    Otherwise, Newsom checks all the boxes:

    Elizabeth Warren

  • Communism 10
  • Fundraising 9
  • Look 3
  • Speech 4
  • Interview 6
  • Likability 3
  • Scandals 4
  • A little of Warren’s nagging kindergarten teacher, tyrannical PTA lady schtick goes a long way.

    Case in point: Bill Maher throws her a series of hanging curveballs, and instead of taking the opportunity to convey humility and warmth-– she reminds everyone of what it’s like to be left alone w/ and struggling to make small talk w/ their scary mother-in-law…

    Nevertheless, name ID and the ability to raise $$$ keeps her at #2 at least until the Iowa State Fair.

    Colonel Sanders

  • Communism 10
  • Fundraising 9
  • Look 2
  • Speech 6
  • Interview 7
  • Likability 9
  • Scandals 2
  • I know, I know.

    The wife and the loan from the bank (aka Goldman Sachs aka Jews aka George Soros).

    MFP has a well-earned reputation for thinly-veiled anti-Semitism, but I can barely pretend to give a shit about this:

    Jane Sanders, who led Burlington College from 2004 to 2011, spent millions on a new campus — 33 acres along the bank of Lake Champlain — to attract more students and donations from alumni. It didn’t work: The college failed to recruit enough students or donations to repay its debts and even came close to losing its accreditation.

    So, she falsified information on loan documents needed to expand the college. What a bitch, I guess…

    Kirsten Gillibrand

  • Communism 6
  • Fundraising 7
  • Look ?
  • Speech 5
  • Interview 9
  • Likability 8
  • Scandals 2
  • Kirsten insists that she is only focused on her Senate reerection campaign– which means that she’s definitely running for POTUS.

    At her best, Kirsten is an amazing communicator…

    A sure-fire, top tier candidate– if not for her the recurring obesity that makes her look like an elementary school cafeteria lady…

    Joe Biden

  • Communism 6
  • Fundraising 7
  • Look 7
  • Speech 7
  • Interview 8
  • Likability 7
  • Scandals 5
  • The Boston Globe reports: Biden will create a political action committee…

    The PAC, which Biden intends to unveil Thursday, will offer the former vice president a platform he can use to nurture relationships with donors, travel on behalf of the party and contribute to candidates in the two governor’s races in November and in next year’s midterm elections.

    At 1st, I was like, “nahhhh”.

    But if you really think about it, what the fuck else does he have to do? What better way to get your mind off your son’s weirdo affair??

    Cory Booker

  • Communism 5
  • Fundraising 7
  • Look 7
  • Speech 7
  • Interview 8
  • Likability 7
  • Scandals 5
  • 1 step forward, 2 steps back.

    Cory tried to distance himself from his anti-union, pro-charter school, big donor sellout reputation by testifying against his colleague, Jeff Sessions– and ramping up his anti-Trump rhetoric.

    But then Big Pharma called…

    To be fair, not even Trump can stand up to pharma lobbyists.

    Kamala Harris

  • Communism 9
  • Fundraising 7
  • Look 7
  • Speech 8
  • Interview 8
  • Likability 9
  • Scandals 6
  • It’s only been 6 months, but Kamala has been an utter disappointment– displaying none of the charisma and magnetism she is known for…

    It’s like a #1 draft pick QB missing wide open receivers in the preseason– she can still turn it around, but her lack of production is unsettling.

    Eric Garcetti

  • Communism 7
  • Fundraising 7
  • Look 7
  • Speech 7
  • Interview 8
  • Likability 8
  • Scandals 6
  • Garcetti makes the Top 10 based on the outside chance he upsets Gavin Newsom in the CA gubernatorial race.

    Incidentally, he bears a startling resemblance to Phil Dunphy…

    Also, his wife Amy Wakeland won’t take his last name– which must be emasculating…

    Andrew Cuomo

    He can probably raise a lot of money, but look at that face!

    Castro Bros. Imagine that mug on Iowa mailers?? Good luck!
    Xavier Becerra He’s like a Hispanic Mike Pence…

    Who spells “Javier” with an “X”, anyway?

    Amy Klasdfochar No.
    Deval Patrick No.

Trump’s odds of reerection currently stand at: 66.6%, virtually unchanged from last month.

Given the likelihood that Trump will engage in false flags prior to the ’18 and ’20 erections, Trump would need to fall below 30% approval to have a realistic chance of losing.

Sean Hannity goofs on Mark Steyn’s tie

Would Smash

The Apprentice UK star claims he has more money than Trump

Would Smash

Katy Tur’s knockers looked ENORMOUS at Trump press con

Alex Jones: Black women are “super sexy”