Mofo Politics
Mofo Politics

MFP accurately reax to the French erection   April 23, 2017

39-year-old independent Emmanuel Macron and Oberruppenführer Marine Le Pen face off in the final round of the French erection on May 7.

This epic clash will determine which of the two will receive more bribery $$$ in the coming years– while their tribal, low-information supporters argue passionately about shit they know nothing about.

Polls

Just as they were in the US erection, French pollsters were remarkably accurate– predicting the outcome almost exactly…

Final avg. Actual
Macron 24.0 23.9
Le Pen 22.5 21.4
Fillon 19.5 19.9
Melenchon 18.5 19.6

Brexit, Trump…Le Pen??

Maybe.

But Le Pen underperformed polls by ~1%, and trails in head to head matchups by double digits…

Ipsos Harris
Macron 62 64
Le Pen 38 36

Le Pen and her minions will need to launch between 2-3 more false flag attacks between now and May 7 to close the gap.

Nate Silver

Even after ’16, Nate isn’t hedging his bets…

“Two Round System”

The French erection is often referred to by assholes as a “Two Round System”— instead of just a “runoff”.

You may recall those snobby motherfuckers initially refused to accept the word “email”– insisting instead on “courrier electronique”.

Short

Like, imagine if Hillary was taller than Trump?? That would’ve weird…

Elderly Wife

Macron’s wife is 63-year-old Brigitte Trogneux, and it’s freaking gross…

Macron met Brigitte when he was just 15, and that’s great– except that Macron was clearly developmentally compromised by the relationship, as evidenced by the fact that he hasn’t dumped her yet.

François Hollande has a 4% approval rating, but at least he’s banging young-ish actresses behind his wife’s back like a patron…

Ms Gayet told journalists that she had broken off her relationship with the president because she could no longer tolerate constant media exposure…Closer…the glossy magazine, whose sales doubled after it published photographs in December of a helmet-wearing Francois Hollande arriving for an assignation with Ms Gayet on the back of a motor scooter.

Kudos.

Would Smash

Trashy reporter Colleen Campbell, would ya?

The All-Seeing Maha Rushie

Rush Limbaugh: Maybe debt isn’t that bad after all

Erection 2016

Ben Carson drops some Yoda shit on CNN’s Dana Bash

He's a grating American

Bwahahaha: Hannity is such a dick