Mofo Politics
Mofo Politics

MFP accurately reax to GA-6   April 18, 2017

Throughout the campaign, Jon Ossoff has demonstrated extraordinary political skill, and a poise beyond his years.

But there is also an icky Gavin Newsom quality about him.

This is not merely shallow supposition. Having taken Psychology 101, I theorize Ossoff’s douchey affectations and mannerisms are a subconscious manifestation of his secret desire to get the fuck out of Georgia and into a smoke-filled Senate cloakroom ASAP.

Woulda Shoulda Coulda

Ossoff overperformed the polls, and likely would have reached the 50% threshold if he had only:

  • Toned it down a notch: As affable as he is, Ossoff’s face becomes exponentially more punchable the more one is exposed to it. Everyone that was going to vote for Ossoff was already going to vote for Ossoff 2 weeks ago— his nonstop presence in the closing days of the erection only served to GoTV for Republicans.
  • Moved or something: The “he doesn’t even live in the district” attack alone probably cost him 2 points. How easy would it have been to simply rent an apartment inside the district??

Alyssa Milano

Alyssa campaigned vigorously for Ossoff…

And although she still looks really hot from far away, some plastic surgery is in order…

In any case, she was displeased w/ the results…

Official Projection

Totally called the runoff part.

The winning on 6/20 part assumes the GOP will renew efforts to repeal Obamacare– upon which Trump voters disproportionately rely on to live…

In the meantime, it is not wholly unreasonable for conservatives to respond to the “all the energy is on the progressive side” schtick w/ forced mocking laughter and derision.

The Regime

Michael Savage: Ted Cruz “far better man” than Trump

Would Smash

BREAKING: Peyton List denounces homophobia and racism

Congressman Blake Farenthold exists

Russian to conclusions

Hannity debunks Trump-Russia conspiracy theory once and for all