Mofo Politics
Mofo Politics

MFP accurately projects GA-6   April 17, 2017

Douchey 30-year-old Democrat Jon Ossoff has never had a real job in his life.

Like so many of his would-be constituents, Ossoff went straight from private school, to Georgetown, to the London School of Economics, to congressional staffer, to faux-CEO, to historical inflection point.

w/ a victory on Tuesday in Georgia’s 6th congressional district, Ossoff would strike a major blow to the tyrannical Trump regime– not unlike Dave Brat’s win over Eric Cantor (and amnesty) in ’14.

Poll Avg.

Ossoff leads in a district held by Obergruppenführer Tom Price from ’04-16, and by Newt Gingrich from ’79-99…

Jon Ossoff (D) 46
Karen Handel (R) 18
Bob Gray (R) 13
Dan Moody (R) 9
Judson Hill (R) 9

Strategery

Early on, Team Ossoff abandoned attempts to portray their candidate as a good ‘ol boy. Instead, they are betting that voters in the conservative district will choose an elitist, skinny jean-wearing know-it-all prick over co-signing Trump’s illegitimate junta.

To that end, Ossoff’s high-priced DC strategerists rolled out a series of slick ads that theoretically should be effective. The danger is that the more Georgians see of Ossoff, the more they want to punch his stupid, annoying face…

I don’t know how a human being can watch that ad more than 5x, and not want to piss in his mouth.

Also, you know who else had great ads…??

Alison Lundergan Grimes ran a terrific campaign against a terrible campaigner, and still lost by 15 points!

Tribal instincts can trump (drum fill) a good campaign and economic self-interest.

A Great Man

To his credit, Ossoff hasn’t dumped GF Alisha Kramer…

Were I an independently wealthy celebrity candidate?? I would be cavorting w/ 1 or more (almost certainly more) of the following Georgia Hooter-ettes…

A post shared by Bailey Norris (@bailey_norriss) on

If I had to settle down w/ someone of the same faith, Poor Man’s Alison Brie— or a close approximation thereof– would be far preferable to Alisha…

Official Projection

MFP projects that renewed Republican efforts to repeal Obamacare– upon which Trump supporters disproportionately rely– will give Ossoff the boost he needs to defeat gross-looking Karen Handel in the June 20 runoff…

MFP believes it is impossible for an extremely unattractive woman to win a highly-publicized race in this day and age (Mary Fallin notwithstanding).

Furthermore, MFP projects that 1.2 milliseconds after his 6/20 victory– Ossoff, who secretly hates Georgia, will immediately begin plotting for higher office, w/ an eye towards the presidency.

Incidentally, Bob Gray has hot daughters, assuming they are 18+. If not, then they are not attractive. Yuck!

Put up or STFU

Democrats got a pass for losing KA-4: It wasn’t expected to be close, the DNC didn’t go all-in, and their candidate sucked– so the 20-point, anti-Trump swing was a moral victory of sorts.

There are no excuses for GA-6:

  • Great candidate– albeit, a prissy asshole that doesn’t even live in the district.
  • $8 million raised– albeit, the majority of the $$$ came from out-of-state.
  • Volunteers are pouring in to help– albeit, they’re just as likely to cause a backlash (ala obnoxious Rand Paul supporters in IA).

A GOP win Tuesday would be the death of the “all the energy is on the progressive side” schtick.

Do you even UFC bro?

Miesha Tate avoids touching Francis Ngannou

Historical Cuckspective

CNN: What makes America great is…

Mark Steyn vs. Ultra Low-Information Pro-Amnesty Caller

Would Smash

It was sooo hot when Megyn Kelly did this