Mofo Politics
Mofo Politics

MFP accurately ranks O’Reilly’s alleged sex victims by order of hotness   April 2, 2017

Please note that the ratings below refer to the time period in which O’Reilly’s alleged sexual harassment is alleged to have allegedly occurred…

Andrea Mackris

  • Score: $9 mil
  • Rating: 4.49
  • Post makeover, Andrea became borderline bangable?? But at the time of the allegations, she was disgusting— which speaks to O’Reilly’s decaying mental state:

    O’Reilly suggested she buy a vibrator and was clearly excited…”Next time you’ll come up to my hotel room and we’ll make this happen.”

    Rebecca Gomez

  • Score: $1 mil
  • Rating: 6.25
  • Not sure how O’Reilly could have possibly misinterpreted Rebecca’s hard-hitting journalism for promiscuity…

    Wendy Walsh

  • Score: None
  • Rating: 6.75
  • Wendy is a MILF, but given her age– not worth ranting and raving about:

    O’Reilly reneged on an offer to become a Fox News contributor after she rebuffed his sexual advances…“He became hostile, telling her that she could forget any career advice he had given her and that she was on her own.”

    Andrea Tarantula

  • Score: Pending
  • Rating: 7.0
  • Andrea Tasdfdsfdkhs has big boobs and nice legs?? But I feel like her face is jacked up.

    In any case, litigation is ongoing:

    Fox News offered to pay her a sum “in the seven figures” if she renounced claims against Mr. Ailes and…O’Reilly. According to the lawsuit, Ms. Tantaros said she had been subjected to unwelcome advances from Mr. O’Reilly.

    Juliet Huddy

  • Score: $1 mil+
  • Rating: 7.49
  • At the turn of the century, Juliet was beautiful, yet seemingly gettable— so you get why one might want to masturbate whilst on the phone w/ her:

    Unwanted propositions and harassing phone calls, during some of which O’Reilly apparently was masturbating.

    Laurie Dhue

  • Score: $1 mil+
  • Rating: 8.49
  • Laurie Dhue claimed fmr. Fox News chairman Roger Ailes asked her if she was wearing underwear. However, it is unclear what allegations Laurie made against O’Reilly, if any…

    Talking Points wants you to keep in mind that O’Reilly was separated or divorced when some of these baseless allegations took place– so, it’s cool.

    Incidentally, you may recall that court documents obtained by Gawker revealed:

    Update Hot New Victim

    Occidental College professor Caroline Heldman– once a frequent guest on the Factor— has added her name to the long list of accusers.

    She’s still pretty hot in 2017…

    But in her naughty librarian prime?? No less than 8.5…

    Though, admittedly, that could just be my Rebecca De Mornay fetish talking…

    The Regime

    Trump and Emmanuel Macron have 1 thing in common

    Nina Pham actually got fatter while infected with Ebola

    Would Smash

    That chick that lied about having cancer, would ya?

    Just 164 days into 2016, already 1,700 deaths from pools