Mofo Politics
Mofo Politics

2020 Power Rankings   March 9, 2017

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LA Mayor Eric Garcetti won reerection Tuesday in one of the biggest landslides in a century.

Garcetti not only won w/ 81% of the vote, he dragged Measure H (sales tax to fund anti-homeless programs) barely across the 2/3 finish line. In doing so, Garcetti has catapulted himself into MFP’s 2020 Power Rankings.

Power Rankings

Gavin Newsom

  • Communism 7
  • Fundraising 8
  • Look 9
  • Speech 8
  • Interview 7
  • Likability 3
  • Scandals 8
  • Gavin’s anti-Trump schtick could use some work…

    But right now, Gavin’s #1 goal is to keep Garcetti out of 18’s CA gubernatorial race.

    Complicating matters is 83-year-old Sen. Dianne Feinstein’s refusal to retire (Garcetti and Feinstein have a strategerist in common, and he was seen as her likely successor).

    Elizabeth Warren

  • Communism 10
  • Fundraising 9
  • Look 3
  • Speech 4
  • Interview 7
  • Likability 4
  • Scandals 5
  • A little of Warren’s nagging, kindergarten teacher, tyrannical PTA dragon lady schtick goes a long way…

    Even Senate allies are advising her to give it a rest.

    Kirsten Gillibrand

  • Communism 6
  • Fundraising 7
  • Look ?
  • Speech 5
  • Interview 9
  • Likability 9
  • Scandals 2
  • Kirsten is the only Senate Democrat to vote against every Trump cabinet nominee– clearly, an attempt to shed her moderate image ahead of a ’20 run.

    Of course, Kirsten insists that she is only focused on reerection– which means she’s definitely in.

    If not for her recurring obesity, Kirsten would be recognized as one the best politicians in America…

    Kamala Harris

  • Communism 9
  • Fundraising 7
  • Look 7
  • Speech 8
  • Interview 8
  • Likability 9
  • Scandals 6
  • It’s only been 4 months, but Kamala has been an utter disappointment– displaying none of the charisma and magnetism she is known for…

    It’s like a #1 draft pick QB missing wide open receivers in the preseason– it’s still early, but her lack of production is unsettling.

    Eric Garcetti

  • Communism 7
  • Fundraising 7
  • Look 7
  • Speech 7
  • Interview 8
  • Likability 8
  • Scandals 6
  • Garcetti makes the Top 10 based on the outside chance he upsets Gavin Newsom in the CA gubernatorial race.

    Incidentally, he bears a startling resemblance to Phil Dunphy…

    Also, his wife Amy Wakeland won’t take his last name– which must be emasculating…

    Cory Booker

  • Communism 5
  • Fundraising 7
  • Look 7
  • Speech 7
  • Interview 8
  • Likability 7
  • Scandals 5
  • 1 step forward, 2 steps back.

    Cory tried to distance himself from his anti-union, pro-charter school, big donor sellout reputation by testifying against his colleague, Jeff Sessions– and ramping up his anti-Trump rhetoric.

    But then Big Pharma called…

    To be fair, not even Trump can stand up to pharma lobbyists.

    Bernie Sanders I mean, isn’t he going to be like 100 by then??
    Andrew Cuomo

    He can probably raise a lot of money, but look at that face!

    Castro Bros. Imagine that mug on Iowa mailers?? Good luck!
    Xavier Becerra He’s like a liberal, equally-boring Hispanic Mike Pence…

    Who spells “Javier” with an “X”, anyway?

    Amy Klasdfochar No.
    Deval Patrick No.

    Trump’s odds of reerection currently stand at: 65%— that’s up from 55% in Jan.

    The new Bachelorette is so ugly

    The Regime

    Nerdy blonde that helped defeat Trump’s #MuslimBan, would ya?

    Bomani Jones wears “Caucasians” t-shirt even though nobody cares

    Do you even UFC bro?

    Chael Sonnen understandably sexually harasses Brazilian chick reporter