Mofo Politics
Mofo Politics

That chick Ezekiel Elliot allegedly beat up, would ya?   January 16, 2017

Dallas Cowboys star RB Ezekiel Elliot is accused of domestic violence by 20-year-old Tiffany Thompson.

Unfortunately, Tiffany, being a total retard, reportedly asked someone to fabricate testimony via text, FFS:

Personally??

I would have made up testimony on her behalf in exchange for a BJ and swallow– the swallow part is non-negotiable.

When a woman swallows, it makes me feel like I’ve gotten over on her dad and all future mates.

Accurate rating

7.4 (US/UK)
8.5 (Iowa)
6.9 (Wealthy Los Angeles area)

To Tiffany’s credit, she’s hotter than the chick Greg Hardy beat up— although Hardy’s victim had bigger boobs…

Erection 2016

Ben Shapiro: I’m short, but at least I’m not a “dumbass” like Trump

Foreigners

Bwahahaha: Theresa May gives terrorists £1 billion to keep herself in power

Chris Matthews: “You know your shit”

Laura Ingraham: I could replace Megyn Kelly “with my eyes closed”