Mofo Politics
Mofo Politics

2020 Power Rankings   January 1, 2017

Just as conservatives quadrupled down after John McCain and Mitt Romney, liberals are rejecting pressure from their establishment and donor class to moderate.

In the long term, this polarization probably means some form of civil war. Short term, it means ’20 should be as entertaining as ’16…

Power Rankings

Gavin Newsom

  • Communism 9
  • Fundraising 8
  • Look 9
  • Speech 8
  • Interview 7
  • Likability 3
  • Scandals 8
  • He’s Bill Clinton w/out the charm. He’s Trump w/out the humor. He’s John Edwards waiting to happen.

    There is every reason to expect Gavin Newsom’s candidacy to fall apart– but until it does, he checks every box almost every box…

    Fortunately for Newsom, he has 2.5 years to focus group test a good answer.

    Elizabeth Warren

  • Communism 10
  • Fundraising 9
  • Look 3
  • Speech 4
  • Interview 7
  • Likability 4
  • Scandals 5
  • Like Hillary ’04, Warner ’08, Christie ’12, and pre-amnesty Rubio— Warren missed her moment.

    Name ID and branding probably keeps her in the top tier until ’19-ish, but imagine how much more obnoxious this will sound by then…

    The only candidate to ever benefit from running later was Trump— whose schtick was probably a skosh early for the ’12 electorate.

    Kirsten Gillibrand

  • Communism 6
  • Fundraising 7
  • Look ?
  • Speech 5
  • Interview 9
  • Likability 9
  • Scandals 2
  • Gillibrand could be the candidate of destiny— the woman who inherited Hillary’s Senate seat goes on to avenge her defeat.

    There’s just 1 problem…

    She’s getting fat (again).

    Her candidacy only works if she looks like a classy MILF…

    50-year-old working mother?? I don’t like her chances to shed the weight.

    Kamala Harris

  • Communism 9
  • Fundraising 7
  • Look 7
  • Speech 8
  • Interview 8
  • Likability 9
  • Scandals 6
  • She’s fucking great.

    Articulate, bright, reasonably attractive, and the only US chick politician that can give speeches w/out sounding like a nagging ex-wife…

    Here’s why she’s not #1:

    • Can she take a punch? In CA, her liberal views are never challenged. Her opponent in the CA Senate race was a total embarrassment.

      Let’s see how sunny and optimistic she is after the Alt-Reich accuses her of running a pedophilia ring for 2 years.

    • Senate votes will be picked apart, as Hillary, Bernie, Rubio, and Cruz can attest.
    • Obama says she’s hot, but in 4 years and 10 lbs., she could look gross.
    • She doesn’t want it bad enough. She could happily spend the next 30 years in the Senate.
    Bernie Sanders I mean, is he even going to be alive by then??
    Cory Booker Skilled politician, but seen by the Left as an anti-union, pro-charter school, big donor sellout, Wall Street insider.
    Andrew Cuomo

    He can probably raise a lot of money.

    Castro Bros. Imagine their faces on Iowa mailers??
    Xavier Becerra He’s like a liberal, equally-boring Hispanic Mike Pence that is probably better-suited for VP or to head some obscure department…

    Who spells “Javier” w/ an “X”, anyway?

    Amy Klasdfochar No.
    Deval Patrick No.

    Trump’s odds of reerection currently stand at: 55%, up from 40% in Dec.

    Would Smash

    Milo Moiré, the artist who lays eggs with her vagina, is hotter than you might expect

    Actually, Apartheid wasn’t that bad

    Liberty, Inc.

    Timeline of Alex Jones dumping Rand Paul for Trump

    Erection 2016

    Bwahahaha: This Trump University victim is super retarded