Mofo Politics
Mofo Politics

Top 5 Things I Don’t Get About the Russia Is Evil Stuff   September 8, 2016

1) “Putin was in the KGB!”

Yeah, but George HW Bush ran the CIA.

Also, what was a young Vladimir Putin living in the Soviet Union circa 1970 supposed to do w/ his life– go to cobbler school? Become a baker??

2) “The KGB is evil!”

No judgment, but the US equivalent to the KGB is the CIA– which has admittedly worked w/ murderous drug cartels, has secret torture prisons, and used assassination squads.

3) “Russia wants to take over Europe!”

Russia couldn’t hold Afghanistan.

Even the US couldn’t lock down Iraq.

How the fuck is Russia supposed to wage war and conquer territory the size of Europe– under optimal conditions— let alone when its economy is struggling, and fundamentally unsound??

4) “Putin just wants to look tough for domestic audiences!!”

K, but if it’s all just an act to distract from economic woes– then what’s the problem??

5) “They buzz our planes!”

Yeah, over there

You don’t think we’d be buzzing the shit out of Russian planes if they were flying around in the Gulf of Mexico??

Also, they’re mean to gays, which is a major plus.

Do you even UFC bro?

Miesha Tate avoids touching Francis Ngannou

Erection 2016

Hugh Hewitt: GOP should steal the nomination from Trump

Would Smash

Kaileigh Brandt is a genetically superior female

Feminazis

Bwahahaha: Preschool teacher-looking lady is high-ranking Navy official