Mofo Politics
Mofo Politics

#Olympics2016: Alexi Pappas wins MP’s heart   August 20, 2016

See, I told you Trump would flip-flop on amnesty

Credit Flotrack

I recently proclaimed that I was over Katie Glueck. But, clearly, there is some lingering affection…

Alexi Pappas

I don’t want to get ahead of myself?? But I’m pretty sure Alexi is the love of my life…

Credit KVAL CBS 13.

There is a case to be made that among all Olympic athletes– some of whom are classically “hotter”– Pappas would make the best life partner…

  • Adorbs.
  • Kind.
  • Loyal.
  • Deep.
  • Writes poetry.
  • Could pass for [omitted]-years-old (crucial for perverse roleplay).
  • Girly voice w/ excessive use of “like”.
  • Humble while winning shit (important, because I intend to be a stay-at-home dad).
  • Quirky nerd jokes.
  • Hipster glasses.
  • Can gain 15 lbs. w/out getting fat– probably would just make her boobs bigger.
  • Liberal tree hugger (sorry, but right-wing chick calling people “cucks” and yelling “build a wall” isn’t feminine).

Cute AF

Concerns

w/ her myriad of interests, I fear I won’t be at the center of her universe. But that’s what counseling is for. I’m willing to fight for this if she is.

Related Coverage
Rand Paul gets caught being a hypocrite, smirks obnoxiously
BREAKING: Katy Tur doesn’t look hot today
Mark Levin triggered by Trump’s Ted Cruz jokes
Alexa Bliss is a PERFECT 10 by very short girl standards