Mofo Politics
Mofo Politics

Confirmed: Cops aren’t racist, just dumb   July 10, 2016

You know who I want to make love to? These Black Lives Matter protesters

Unarmed, white 19-year-old Dylan Noble was summarily executed by Fresno, CA police last month:

Police said they had responded to the call of a man walking with a rifle. While searching the area, officers said they spotted a truck speeding and tried to pull it over.

BTW, that doesn’t seem like the greatest detective work, but go on…

Noble pulled into a gas station parking lot and police said he refused to show his hands.

Noble was shot a total of four times…Noble already appeared to be on the ground.

At this stage, the #1 priority of the Fresno PD is to mitigate damages from the inevitable lawsuit and eventual settlement.

To that end, the PR flacks are implying that Noble was suicidal:

When he gets within about 12 feet of the officers, he makes the statement ‘I hate my effing life’.

“I hate my life” or “I hate my fucking life” is a common phrase used to express disbelief or frustration w/ all manner of bullshit.

For ex:

It is also applicable when an innocent person is ordered to the ground at gunpoint on a hot ass day in Fresno.

This part is good too:

Authorities said the driver, Dylan Noble…led officers on a half mile chase.

“Chase” implies high speeds, but either/or:

Half-mile chase

Speed Duration of “chase”
80 mph 22.5 seconds
60 mph 30 seconds
40 mph 45 seconds
25 mph 72 seconds

Adam Carolla reax:

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