Litigious Muslim Student, would ya hang out innocently as friends?

Mark Capra   |   Published May 10, 2016

Cha-ching.

Los Osos High School officials apologized for misidentifying Bayan Zehlif as “Isis Phillips”– who, they note, also attended the school…

Bayan isn’t buying it:

I am extremely saddened, disgusted, hurt and embarrassed that the Los Osos High School yearbook was able to get away with this. Apparently I am “Isis” in the yearbook. The school reached out to me and had the audacity to say that this was a typo. I beg to differ, let’s be real.

Even though I do not find anyone under the age of 18 attractive?

I can see how some people might think she’s hot…

If I was her social studies teacher? I would be like:

This is so racist!

People fear what they don’t understand, you know what I mean? It’s like, people are so close-minded. I can’t even, it’s like bigotry, you know?

Anyway, what are you doing later? You wanna come over to my place and talk?

And then I’ll play up the father figure leaving at her most vulnerable moment angle??

Like, when she walks in, I’ll pretend I don’t notice her? And I’ll just happen to be playing “Standing In The Way” from Buffy the Vampire Slayer on my guitar…

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