Mofo Politics
Mofo Politics

Jim Harbaugh proves that when women say “no”, sometimes they mean “yes”   April 28, 2015

Mark Capra Tweet Email

Michigan head coach Jim Harbaugh met his current wife at PF Chang’s, because of course he did.

Sarah is so hot that she’s even hot when she’s pregnant…

But what is at issue here is that it took Harbaugh’s legendary competitiveness, and harassment (that would have been considered “stalking” if he was poor and unattractive) to force Sarah to realize that she did, in fact, want to date him, despite her earlier disinclination:

The brief courtship period started with Harbaugh sitting alone at a Las Vegas P.F Changs bar when he noticed Sarah walking past him.

“He immediately followed me to my car and asked if we could ‘meet up’ sometime,” Sarah recalled. “I thought it was odd. Who talks like that? Then he asked for my number, which I gave to him even though I didn’t want to go out with him.”

Harbaugh called Sarah nine times that night. She ignored him with the notion of strategically calling during practice the next day, getting his voicemail and politely telling his machine it just wasn’t meant to be.

The lesson here is that if you really, really, really want to make love to a woman, you must keep harassing her until she finally gives in.

That’s what a true Alpha would do.

Alpha vs. Beta

For comparative purposes, Jim Harbaugh was a fmr. average NFL QB in his 40’s– coaching in relative obscurity at the University of Wherever The F***.

Yet he had the confidence to stalk his future wife into submission.

49ers owner Jed York, on the other hand, was born a billionaire, and handed an NFL franchise on his 30th birthday. And he ended up with this…

I will concede that I am utterly repulsive inside and out (especially out), but I can promise you 1 thing:

If I became a billionaire NFL owner tomorrow? I bring home Gal Fucking Gadot (or equivalent) by Thursday– then I cheat on her regularly for 2 years, and even recoil at her impassioned pleas to “get serious”.

And that’s a God damn fact.

Would Smash

Kristen Soltis got hot again

Do you even UFC bro?

Dana White: Trump is a really honest dude

That's hot

Alex Jones doesn’t hate the Jews

Savage Nation

Sean Hannity: “Phony conservative” Michael Savage went skinny-dipping with Allen Ginsberg

Abella Danger 8.0 Quintessential butterface.
Abby Hornacek 8.75 Penalized for height.
Abby Huntsman 7.0 Penalized for looking like her dad.
Ainsley Earhardt 6.99 Penalized for age (40's).
AJ Applegate 8.75 If she was anorexic, she'd be a 10.
AJ Delgado, Jason Miller's fmr. mistress 5.99
Alex Witt 4.75
Alexa Bliss, WWE superstar 9.25
Alexis Levinson 6.5
Alexis Wineman circa 2012 9.0 Her love could be my salvation.
Allison Williams, Brian Williams daughter 7.25 Penalized for looking like her dad.
Alisyn Camerota 5.25
Amanda Carpenter 6.5 Basic bitch.
Amy Jackson 9.5 Perfect face.
Amy Kremer, the fake conservative activist 3.75 I'd splooge on her, tbh.
Ana Kasparian 6.25 I'm just not into it, she looks like an angry maid.
Ana Navarro 3.99 I'd splooge on her, tbh.
Andrea Tantaros 6.5 + body, dumb face.
Ann Coulter 5.99 Penalized for age (50's).
Anna Kooiman 8.0 She looks like a sexy chipmunk.
Andrea Mitchell 2.25 Disgusting.
Antonietta Collins 6.25 Don't be fooled by the makeup and angles.
April Ryan 2.25 Disgusting.
April Ponnuru, Ramesh Ponnuru's wife 2.99 I'd do her, tbh.
Ashley Parker 5.0
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Belen Sisa the Undocumented Student 6.5
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Catherine Rampell 6.49 Often overrated due to being surrounded by ugly old people.
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Chelsea the Code Pink Protester (Chelsea Byers) 7.75 Her love could be my salvation.
Christiane Amanpour 3.5 Disgusting.
Claire McCaskill 2.75 I'd splooge on her, tbh.
Courtney Byrd 9.0
Dana Bash 5.5
Dana Loesch 6.49 I'd do her.
Dana Perino 6.25 Penalized for age (40's).
Daniela Lopez Osorio 8.75 Face is highly overrated.
Danielle Bregoli, the "Cash Me Outside, How Bow Dah" girl N/A N/A
Danielle Weisberg 7.0 She can get it.
Delaney Targgaryen N/A N/A
Denise Odie Joseph II, Dinesh D'Souza's fmr. mistress 5.25 I'd do her, tbh.
Dishwasher Lady (Prime) 8.99
Dominika the Nuclear Power Plant Intern 8.99 Self-explanatory
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Elizabeth Warren 2.5 Needs burka.
Elizabeth Nolan Brown 5.75
Ellison Barber 7.25 Down 10% from 2014 prime.
Emma DiGiovine, Jesse Watters fmr. mistress 6.99 Quintessential butterface.
Erin Burnett 6.75 Penalized for age (40's).
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Evgenia Medvedeva 9.0 That Sailor Moon outfit tho.
Gina Loudon 6.5 MILF.
Giselle Leon (Prime) 8.25
Gloria Allred 2.5 You know what? Would.
Gloria Borger 3.75
Haley Byrd 7.49 Would be so hot w/ woman's haircut.
Harris Faulkner 4.0 Penalized for race.
Heather Childers 6.25 She's like West Virginia hills folks' idea of what a hot chick looks like.
Heidi Cruz 4.0
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Hillary Clinton 2.5 Disgusting.
Hillary Clinton (prime) 7.0
Hillary McLellan the Chick That Lied About Cancer 7.25
Hope Hicks 6.5 Beautiful from a great distance.
Hwang Mi Hee (Prime) 8.75 Hottest Asian chick to ever live.
Irin Carmon 6.75
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Ivanka Trump (Prime) 9.5
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Jedediah Bila 7.75 Penalized for age.
Jennifer Grossman, the fake libertarian 6.25 Absolute GGILF.
Jillian Kirk, the racist MSU student 7.5
Jo Marney, the Nazi 6.25 Has an old lady face.
Joy Behar 1.99 Needs burka.
Joy Reid (Joy Ann Reid) 2.25 Needs burka.
Julia Ioffe 6.75 Penalized for age.
Julie Mason 2.75 I'd splooge on her, tbh.
Kacey Jordan (Ted Cruz controversy). 7.75 Bonus points for looking ~18.
Kaileigh Brandt 10.0 Not that hot, but genetically perfect.
Kaitlan Collins 6.5
Kamala Harris 4.99
Kanadajin3 (pre-Muslim conversion) 6.5 I'd do her.
Kasie Hunt 5.5
Kat Timpf 7.49
Kata Sarka, the Hungarian chick that Trump tried to bang. 7.5 +++ body, avg. face.
Kate Bouldan 6.5
Kate Upton (Prime) 9.0
Kathryn Limbaugh, Rush Limbaugh's wife 4.75
Katie Glueck 6.99 Bonus points for looking ~18.
Katie Lou Samuelson 6.5 Penalized for height.
Katie Nolan 7.0 Face is overrated.
Katie Packer, the flip-flopping RINO 2.75 Disgusting.
Katie Pavlich 6.5 Penalized for gigantism.
Katrina Pierson 6.0 Looks like an evil koala bear.
Katy Tur 6.75 Disturbingly unattractive without makeup.
Kaylee Moats, the Chick with No Vagina 7.25
Kayleigh McEnany 7.0 She looks like a sexy, retarded fish.
Kellyanne Conway 4.75 Facially repulsive.
Kim Yo-jong, Kim Jong-un's sister 2.99 Needs burka.
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Kinga Duda 7.0 Basic bitch.
Kirsten Gillibrand 5.5
Kirsten Powers 5.5
Kristen Soltis Whatsherface 7.0
Kristen Stewart 8.25
Kristin Tate 7.99 Often overrated due to being surrounded by ugly old people.
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Kyle Nolan, Eric Bolling's assistant 8.25 LTR material, but not hot per se.
Laci Green, the adorable feminazi 7.25 Chubbiness offset by implied promiscuity.
Laura Ingraham 6.25 Penalized for age (50's).
Laura Jayes, the reporter who broke the Turnbull-goofing-on-Trump story 6.5 + body, mediocre face.
Lauren Southern 6.49 Basic Bitch.
Lee Ann McAdoo 6.5 + boobs, mediocre face.
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Liv Morgan 9.0
Liz Plank 6.5 Manly face offset by heavy use of feminine wiles.
Louise Linton, Steve Mnuchin's wife 6.49 Her angry ex-wife face is a turnoff.
Lyda Loudon 6.75
Maria Bartiromo 6.0 Penalized for age (50's).
Marianne Copenhaver, the Neocon Girl 6.49 Sexy hair and glasses conceal jacked up face.
Marilyn Monroe (Prime) 6.75 Basic bitch by today's standards.
Marsha Blackburn 5.0 Penalized for age (late 60's).
Martha MacCallum 5.25 Penalized for age (50's).
Meghan McCain 5.25 I'd splooge on her, tbh.
Mélissa Theuriau circa 2005 10.0 Perfect 10 circa 2005.
Melania Trump 5.75 Beautiful from a great distance.
Megyn Kelly 6.75 Penalized for age (40's).
Michelle Fields 6.49 + body, mediocre face.
Michelle Malkin 4.25 She has to go back.
Michelle Obama 2.99
Michelle Runde 7.0 Cutest gainfully employed vegan ever.
Mika Brzezinski 5.49 I'd do her, tbh.
Mila Moire, the artist who lays eggs with her vagina (Prime) 8.49
Minka Kelly 8.99 She is as hot as you can humanly be without breaking 9.
Molly Line 5.75 Penalized for age (40's).
Monica Crowley 5.0 I think I'd rather do Marsha Blackburn, tbh.
Monica Lewinsky circa Clinton affair 5.75 I'd do her, tbh.
Nadya from Pussy Riot (Nadezhda Tolokonnikova) 6.25 Ugly face offset by heavy use of feminine wiles.
Nasim Aghdam 5.5 Penalized for age.
Natasha Bertrand 6.5 Really cute, but face has slight hint of Down syndrome.
Nancy Pelosi 2.00 Disgusting.
Natalia Lima, Ed Henry's fmr. mistress. 6.75 Older than photos would suggest.
Noor Tagouri, the Hottest Muslim 7.25
Norah O'Donnell (Prime) 8.25 LTR material.
Olivia Harlan 9.0
Paige, WWE superstar 6.75
Paige, WWE superstar (Prime) 8.99
Peyton List 8.49
Poppy Harlow 5.99 I don't get the appeal.
Rachel Maddow 4.5 I'd splooge on her, tbh.
Riley Reid 9.25
Ronna McDaniel, GOP Chairthing 3.0 Has Down syndrome face.
Roseanne Barr 1.75 Needs burka.
Salena Zito 1.99 Needs burka.
Sami Main 7.0 Bonus points for looking ~18.
Sammi Hanratty 8.75 Bonus points for looking ~18.
Sandra Smith 6.5 Penalized for age.
Sarah Tiana, the hypocritical comedian 6.49
Sarah Flores, Trump Propaganda Czar 5.99 Oh so close to being hot.
Sarah McDaniel, the model with retard eyes 9.49 A 10 but not a 10.
Sarah Huckabee 2.75 Disgusting.
Sarah Palin 5.75 Penalized for age (50's).
Sarah Palin (Prime) 6.99
SE Cupp 6.5 Manly jawline, fat arms.
Shannon Bream 6.75 Penalized for age (late 40's).
Simona Mangiante, George Papadopoulos' wife 6.5 Do not be fooled by the Instagram angles.
Shera Berchard (Prime) 8.0
Stephanie Ann Cook 8.75
Stormy Daniels circa when Trump smashed 7.5 Mediocre face.
Tamara Holder (Prime) 6.5 Submissive personality makes up for repulsive face.
Tara Palmieri 7.49 Classic marry her to get her off the market, then realize you've made terrible mistake.
Taylor Riggs 7.25 LTR material.
Tiffany Thompson, Ezekiel Elliot's ex 7.25
Tiffany Trump 7.25 Face has slight hint of Down syndrome, but bonus points for age.
Tomi Lahren 7.0 + body, angry ex-wife face.
Trish Regan 6.5 Penalized for age (late 40's).
Tulsi Gabbard 5.25 Looks like a giant eskimo w/ terrible skin..
Whoopi Goldberg 1.5 Needs burka.
Zoey Kush 8.5 Bonus points for looking ~18.