Mofo Politics
Mofo Politics

See, I told you so: Sometimes “no” means “yes”   April 28, 2015

Sucker: Rand Paul helps Harry Reid, Harry Reid calls him a “loser”

Mark Capra Tweet Email

Fmr. NFL QB and 49ers head coach Jim Harbaugh coincidentally divorced his older, less attractive first wife right around the exact same time he met his much hotter future 2nd wife at PF Chang’s…

Even hot pregnant…

But it took Harbaugh’s legendary competitiveness and harassment bordering on stalking to get Sarah Harbaugh to realize that she did, in fact, totally want him…

The brief courtship period started with Harbaugh sitting alone at a Las Vegas P.F Changs bar when he noticed Sarah walking past him.

“He immediately followed me to my car and asked if we could ‘meet up’ sometime,” Sarah recalled. “I thought it was odd. Who talks like that? Then he asked for my number, which I gave to him even though I didn’t want to go out with him.” Harbaugh called Sarah nine times that night. She ignored him with the notion of strategically calling during practice the next day, getting his voicemail and politely telling his machine it just wasn’t meant to be.

The lesson here is that if you really, really, really want to have sex with a woman, you must keep harassing her until she finally gives in. Which she will, eventually.

Alpha V Beta

Just for comparative purposes, Jim Harbaugh was a has-been average NFL QB in his 40’s coaching the University of Wherever The F*** at the time.

Meanwhile, 49ers owner Jed York was born a billionaire, and was handed an NFL franchise on his 30th birthday.

He ended up with this…

Not bad, I guess.

But if I was a billionaire NFL owner? I’m pretty confident I bring home Kristin Tate (or equivalent), cheat on her regularly, and even shy away from her impassioned pleas to “get serious”.

Flashback: Literally 10 seconds into a regular season game…

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